JOCK: Parker resigning? Is he?

LAURIE: Come on, Jock. I’m not an idiot. Gerry said there’s some sort of storm blowing-up that’s going to force him to resign.

JOCK: Yeah, I did hear a whisper to that effect.

LAURIE: Come on, Jock. You don’t hear whispers, you start ’em. What’s going on?

JOCK: He’s got himself into some sort of trouble but I don’t know the details. Thank Christ is all I can say. I mean let’s face it. The man’s a buffoon. He’s got to go.

LAURIE: And when he goes you’ll be standing for President?

JOCK: If it’s the wish of the Committee. I’ll tell you something, Laurie. With Parker out of the way things’ll start ticking over smoothly again and we’ll come out of this trough. You wait and see. Gerry’s got some great ideas for next year.

LAURIE: Oh he has?

JOCK: Yeah. A great administrator, that lad. Getting him’s one of the smartest things the Club ever did.

LAURIE: You were the one man on the Committee who voted not to appoint him.

JOCK: A man can be wrong.

LAURIE: Not many can manage it as often as you.

JOCK: I’m glad I laid you out behind the lockers.

LAURIE: What are some of these great ideas of Gerry’s?

JOCK: We’re going to buy up big.

LAURIE: Buy more players?

JOCK: No, sheep. We’re going to graze ’em on the oval and save on lawn mowing costs. Of course we’re going to buy more players. We’re going to go on the biggest buying spree in the history of the game, and what’s more it’s good economics.

LAURIE: Why?

JOCK: If we win a premiership it’ll arrest the membership decline and members mean money. As a businessman myself I can see the logic of it.

LAURIE: As a businessman yourself. God help us. I was one of the mugs who invested in your import business. A hundred dozen pop-up Taiwanese toasters that burnt the bread then fired it like mortar shells. No wonder the Chinese don’t invade them. There’s probably a hundred thousand of those toasters permanently trained on the mainland. Then we had the forty gross of Russian alarm clocks that ticked so loudly that the alarm wasn’t needed because there was no bloody way you could get to sleep, and the eighty dozen pairs of toy handcuffs from the Philippines that had to be withdrawn from sale after three days because forty-seven kids had to be hacksawed out of them.

JOCK: I’m glad I laid you out behind the lockers.

LAURIE: Well you haven’t exactly distinguished yourself in your business career.

JOCK: You won’t make fun of me when you hear some of the names we’re negotiating with.

LAURIE: (sharply) Negotiating? Who’s negotiating? Listen Jock, I’m supposed to be consulted—(when there’s)