JOCK: Rot. When I coached this team they did twenty push-ups and if they asked why they did another twenty. Jesus Christ, do you mean to tell me we’ve got to have a whole drama in the press before I get to find out that Geoff Hayward’s playing up? You could have told me, Laurie. It’s no sin to have one of your men play up on you. You ought to have known that. I had to lay you out behind the lockers in your first year before I got any sense out of you.

LAURIE: Those sort of methods don’t work any more.

JOCK: Nonsense. A good thump never hurt anyone. Let’s get the lad in here and thrash this thing out.

GERRY: We don’t have to solve everything now.

JOCK: Strike while the iron’s hot. I’ve been very worried about the lad’s form recently and I’d like to get him in here and have a bit of a yarn.

LAURIE: I can handle him myself thanks, Jock.

JOCK: Maybe something’s worrying him. Have you talked to him lately?

TED: Yeah, he told him to do twenty push-ups.

JOCK: Shut up, Ted. I used to talk to my boys and it always used to pay off. Remember Lofty Bluett? He was the worst tempered man I’ve ever seen when he first came to the Club. He talked back to me, wouldn’t do what he was told on the field or off—a real nightmare. One day I sat down with him and looked him in the eye—you had to sit him down to look him in the eye—and I said, “Righto Lofty, what’s worrying you, son?” and he just broke down and cried. True. Lofty Bluett cried. Nobody had ever talked to him like that before. Turned out the problem was really simple. He hadn’t got a good night’s sleep since he was sixteen ’cause his legs were too long for the bed. We bought him a king-sized bed and he won the Club best and fairest the very next year. Maybe Geoff just needs something simple like that.

LAURIE: Yeah. A king-sized pillow for his swelled head.

TED: It’s no use, Jock. He’s got it in for the boy.

JOCK: You’ll talk to him if I get him in, won’t you, Laurie? I feel a bit responsible for all this because I was on the sub-committee that decided to get him. Will you have a talk to him and try and thrash it out?

LAURIE: I don’t see what good it will do.

JOCK: Now don’t be stubborn.

GERRY: We don’t have to have him in tonight.

JOCK: Strike while the iron’s hot. I’ll call him.

JOCK leaves through the left door.

GERRY: When Jock gets his mind set on something, there’s no stopping him. I’ll just go next door while you two draft your press statement. Give me a call when it’s finished.