It was funny, but since that time with Max, she’d struggled to find that same level of intensity. That had been, by far, her best, most…intimate…experience at the club since she’d discovered it a year ago. In other circumstances, Max would definitely be the kind of woman she could imagine having something more with, someone who could kindle that kind of passion in her with one look, one touch.

Their first kiss had been so powerful, and the sex that had followed had stayed in her memory for days, weeks. Of course, a relationship was out of the question. To build a relationship, she would have to relate to someone, to converse, to share, to reveal. All things Lou was incapable of.

This was why the club had been such a godsend. It was the magical solution for her. At the club, once she’d gone through all the mental gymnastics to get herself through the front door, she was able to set aside her inherent, painful shyness. She could transform herself into anyone she wanted to be.

The club gave her the physical release she needed for her inner passionate self, the hidden Lou that was desperate to be free. She just wasn’t quite strong enough to achieve it in everyday life.

Her job at the insurance company allowed her to keep her interactions to email and the occasional phone call. Face-to-face situations were rarely needed, and if they were, most people just accepted that she was quiet and perhaps a little odd, but harmless enough. She was grateful for that. She enjoyed her work, and it paid well enough for her quiet lifestyle.

Tonight, because she was so tired, she would wait by the wall and see who approached. She would let someone else make all the moves and hope that person didn’t push her into an uncomfortable headspace, that she would be able to release the pressure that had built up inside of her these past couple of weeks.

* * *

The taxi dropped her a couple of streets away—she never liked to be dropped right at the door. She used her time as she approached the club to gather her bravery. The cold November rain had settled in for the weekend, so she kept her umbrella close over her head to protect her hair she’d so carefully styled.

Mandy let her in, took Lou’s cash, and then left her to stow her coat, soggy umbrella, and bag in one of the lockers. Mandy had introduced herself that first night, which Lou imagined she did to all the newbies, but it had taken Lou a couple of months to feel comfortable enough to meet her eyes, smile an unspoken greeting, and tell Mandy her name.

In the locker room, Lou shook herself, trying to dispel the maudlin thoughts. She arched her back a couple of times to release some tension and then, finally ready, stepped out into the hallway.