Jacky laughed, then stopped when she saw Tania’s face. “Babe,” she said, reaching slowly for Tania’s hand. “From what Kath said, there doesn’t have to be any emotion attached to it. It’s purely about meeting a need with none of the complications that go with trying to pick up a woman at a club and take her home. Yes, it might seem cold, but Kath says somehow, if you’re both in it for the right reasons, it’s really enjoyable and…freeing. I honestly thought it would be something exciting we could share.” She took a deep breath. “I would find it totally arousing to watch you do that to someone, knowing you were imagining it was me, knowing how much enjoyment you were getting out of it, but knowing as well that the only one you want in your bed every night is me.”

Tania sat back, her mouth open in shock. “You wouldn’t get jealous or find it odd or…painful to see me doing that?”

Jacky couldn’t tell from her tone what answer Tania wanted to hear, so she decided honesty was the best policy. “No, I truly wouldn’t. For all the reasons I just gave. It wouldn’t be watching you have an affair. It would be watching you eat something you love to taste. Like that double chocolate fudge cake we get from the pizza place sometimes.”

Tania stared at her, then burst out laughing. “Oh my God,” she said. “I just cannot believe we are having this conversation. Please don’t tell me you mentioned this to Kath?”

“No, of course not! This is between you and me.”

There was silence for a while. Tania sat back into the sofa and pulled her robe tight around her. Jacky gazed at her for a moment and then got up to make some tea, leaving Tania alone with her thoughts. Toby jumped up and followed Jacky to the kitchen, clearly expecting a late-night treat.

* * *

Tania vaguely listened to the muted sounds of Jacky filling the kettle, pulling mugs from the cupboard, and jokingly admonishing Toby for some minor doggy indiscretion. Their entire conversation had completely unsettled Tania. She pushed her hands through her hair and tried to make sense of the disjointed thoughts spinning around her head.

The issue over Jacky refusing to let Tania go down on her had not been a big deal in the early days of their relationship—there were so many other distractions and joys to explore that Tania hadn’t really noticed it. But over time, she had come to realise that it was a serious psychological issue for Jacky, and although she’d tried to be understanding and patient, somehow she just couldn’t shake it off.