“Mum, I’ve got your cocoa,” she called and nudged open the door to her mother’s bedroom. She stepped into the warm room. The bedside lamp was on, casting its muted light in a small pool that left most of the room in darkness. At first it looked as though her mum was sleeping upright, but she was merely gazing off into space, eyes unfocused. Kath put the mug on the bedside table. Her mum slowly turned towards her.

“Is that you, Kath?” Her voice was tremulous as she clearly struggled to focus in on Kath’s face in front of her.

“Yes, Mum, it’s me. Got your cocoa,” she repeated; sometimes it took two or three goes for things to register.

Her mum managed a weak smile. “Oh, you are a love,” she whispered and tried, unsuccessfully, to push herself a little more upright.

“Here, let me.” Kath kept her voice light and cheery. She slipped her arms around her mum and gently pulled her up. Before resting her back against the headboard, she made sure the pillow ran dead centre down her spine.

“Thank you, love,” her mum whispered again.

Kath swallowed hard. Sometimes it really was just too much. The pain of seeing her mum like this and the energy Kath expended on caring for her… All of it threatened to overwhelm her. But what was she to do? Care for her mum fell to her as her brother refused to help.

“We should put her in a home,” he’d said. “It’s too much for you to take on, and frankly, I don’t have the time to just drop everything when you can’t cope. I have a wife and kids. It’s not fair to them. It was your decision to take her in, your decision to leave the professionals out of this.” His words, delivered in his usual clipped tones, rattled around her brain, their sharp edges catching her like needles. There was a lot right in what he had said. But the idea of her mum going into care was far too upsetting for Kath.

Her mum sighed and reached for the cocoa. Kath intercepted her.

“I’ve got it, Mum,” she said brightly. She held the mug close to her mum’s lips, letting her come forward slightly to sip, trusting she still had enough awareness not to gulp the hot drink too quickly.

Later, after her mum had gone to sleep, Kath tucked her in, switched on the night light, and left the room. She leaned against the wall outside for a moment and breathed deeply. Today had been a long one. She rubbed at the back of her neck, trying to ease out some of the tension that seemed permanently knotted there these days. She rolled her shoulders, pushed herself away from the wall, and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. As she passed the table, she picked up her fags.