She turned to face Matt, took his hand, and squeezed lightly. “I’m sorry I lied to you,” she said, then smiled at his confused expression. “That party in our last month of uni. You got drunk and practically begged me to come out. That was the only time I have ever lied to you. But I’ve been lying to myself for years.” She gripped his hand even tighter. “Now, don’t scream the place down. But there’s a woman I work with called Lou, and I am absolutely crazy about her.”

A squeak escaped Matt’s lips, and she giggled.

“I sense there is a ‘but’ at the end of that sentence,” prompted Jake, and she looked at him and nodded.

“She asked me out.”

This time Matt let out a whoop.

“But,” continued Stephanie firmly, “I panicked, said no in a really rude way, and now she will only talk business with me.” She sighed. “God, I hurt her so badly—she’s really shy. I mean, painfully shy. I heard from a few other people at work that she keeps herself shut away in her little cubicle, never speaks to anyone if she can help it, and never socialises with anyone from work. It must have taken so much for her to ask me out, and I just slammed it back in her face, all because I was too scared to admit what I was really feeling.”

“But can’t you tell her? Just say everything you’ve said to us? Surely if she’s as nice as you think, she’ll listen?”

“Maybe. But that would require me to have the courage to do it. And she’s shutting me out so hard these days, I don’t know if she’d let me back in anyway. She may not trust me again. Plus, there’s the whole other issue of me being fresh out of the closet and not having a single clue about dating women and…well, you know…the other stuff. Even if I did get to go out with her, she’s clearly been out for a while now, so she’d be so much more…experienced than I am, and, well, it would be, you know…embarrassing.” Or worse, she thought, shuddering inwardly as visions of her worst nightmare crowded her mind.

She’d always struggled with sex and intimacy. Her parents had drummed into her from an early age that sex before marriage was a sin. Although they had tried to raise her with the same degree of Catholic fervour, she had managed to rebel somewhat over the years. She’d had sex with a handful of guys, and each time had been dreadful. And each time she’d hoped it would be better than the last. It never was.