She was not gay; she just hadn’t met the right guy yet. When she did, the sex would be great, and she’d find those fireworks all her friends raved about.

But meeting Lou had challenged her in a way she wasn’t prepared for. She was drawn to her with an…intensity she couldn’t begin to explain. The first time she’d met Lou, she’d been nearly speechless. She was stunned at how attractive Lou was and alarmed at her body’s response when they simply shook hands.

It was obvious Lou was gay, and yet Stephanie couldn’t help herself. She invented more questions to go back and talk to Lou about, leading Lou on. After their meetings, she promised herself she wouldn’t do it again. And yet the next day, she’d called Lou, arranged another meeting, and talked about their mutual love of jazz. They laughed and chatted so easily it made her feel utterly at peace inside.

At night, the fantasies crept in, thoughts of Lou’s mouth on hers, Lou’s fingers on her skin, inside her… She would sit bolt upright in bed, panting and aching, and trying desperately to banish the thoughts, the feelings, the desires. The fears.

And now she had to deal with the fallout.

A few days ago, Lou had asked her out, and she’d been so stunned. She had been inexcusably rude and cruel, and Lou would probably never speak to her again. As she’d walked away from Lou, she’d risked a glance back. Lou’s head was on her desk, and she might have been crying. Stephanie had been overcome with shame.

Lou had responded to the signals Stephanie had given her. It had clearly taken a lot for Lou to ask, and Stephanie had treated her appallingly. She hadn’t spoken to Lou since, but she would have to soon. They were in the early days of the plan to roll the purchase order system out to the Southampton office, a project Stephanie had been roped into during her first week with the company. They needed to reach a place where they could work together comfortably, and for that to happen, Stephanie needed to apologise for what had occurred last week.

And she needed to work out a way not to be attracted to Lou so that nothing like this reared its ugly head again.

* * *

Lou’s music greeted her as she approached. Dexter Gordon. She took a deep breath and steeled herself.

When she was a few feet from Lou’s chair, she said, “Knock, knock.”

Lou looked at her with such pain in her eyes… Stephanie nearly cried.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered before her brain could engage to keep the emotion out of her tone. “I shouldn’t have been so rude to you last week, and I’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about…us.” Liar! You gave her the right impression; you’re just too scared to take a chance on where it will lead you.