I dragged the Encyclopaedia Britannica Volume III and Complete Book of Birds of the British Isles from the crate beneath my bed, and took the daisy I’d picked from between the paving stones at The Cliff House out of my pocket. I twirled it between my fingers so it turned like a ballerina. Though it was wilted, and the petals were limp, the spongey yellow centre was still radiant.

I opened the back cover of the encyclopaedia and took out the two pieces of blotting paper I kept there; then I laid the daisy between the sheets, pressed gently, and carefully repositioned the blotting paper. I closed the back cover then rested the second heavy book on top of it and slid both into the gap between the crates beneath my bed to let the daisy dry. Then I lay on my bed and waited for my mum to get back.

It was late when I finally heard their voices. The sky was black and the moon high and full, and my room was dipped blue by the light which fell through the window. I knelt up on my bed, and keeping myself hidden from view I peered around the edge of the window frame at the street below. The two of them stood facing each other beside our low granite wall. I held my breath, my hands clenched into fists, fingernails digging into my palms.

‘Don’t kiss her,’ I whispered. ‘Don’t kiss her.’

Don’t kiss her.

When she rested her hand on his arm my stomach pitched. He reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. I watched helplessly as she smiled and nodded. For a moment they didn’t move and I held my breath.

When she dropped her hand and turned away from him I exhaled with relief, and rested my head against the cool glass and said a silent thank you. I looked down again and saw her walk through our gate. She paused to glance over her shoulder and raised a hand to him before rummaging in her bag for her key. He stood with his hands in his pockets and watched her. It was only when the front door closed with a gentle thud that he finally turned away and retreated up the street.

‘Yes, that’s it, you prick,’ I whispered. ‘Leave us a-bloody-lone.’

Then I turned away from the window, covered my face with my hands, and shook.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tamsyn

July 1986

Mum was catching a lift up to the house on the motorbike with Jago. She was insistent they arrive together so she could be there to introduce him to the Davenports. Jago joked that she obviously didn’t trust him to get there alone, which she tried to laugh off but not very convincingly.

I was happy to walk. It was a beautiful day and it meant I had an excuse to get out of the house early. I cut myself a slice of bread for my breakfast and spread it with butter before setting off.