Ellison, as every decent Trekker knows, is the author of many of the finest pieces of science fiction ever written, as well as the man behind what’s generally considered Star Trek’s finest episode, “The City on the Edge of Forever.” He’s also a bit…eccentric. In fact, as legend has it, when he was asked by Paramount to write up his story outline in regard to a possible Star Trek movie, he balked, opting instead to commit his idea to memory. Once that was accomplished, he set up a meeting with a Paramount development executive, wherein he ran through a forty-five minute monologue and verbally unveiled a Star Trek adventure of truly epic proportions.

Pacing about the office, speaking loudly and gesturing broadly for dramatic emphasis, Ellison conjured up a tale involving time travel back to prehistoric times, complete with battles against an evil race of reptiles and Captain Kirk’s kidnapping of the entire Enterprise crew. Exhausted after his performance, Ellison supposedly turned to the executive and asked, “Well, whaddya think?” at which point he was told, “Hmmm, it’s okay, I guess, but I was just reading this book right here called CHARIOTS OF THE GODS and in this thing, it says that the ancient Mayans were visited by creatures from outer space. Think you could squeeze some of those Mayans in there?”

Ellison, being Ellison, quickly, loudly, bluntly and politically suicidally pointed out the inherent stupidity of the man’s idea, making clear the obvious fact that there were no Mayans in prehistory.

“Aw, so what,” the executive supposedly replied, “nobody’ll know the difference.”

Ellison chimed, “I’ll know the difference, you idiot.” He then punctuated his remarks with a stream of profanity, a hasty exit and a strident door slam. Needless to say, his idea was quickly rejected.

As this second ghostwritten “memoir” by Shatner is about as reliable as the first one—and that TV Guide piece that appears earlier in this introduction should be compared side-by-side, page-by-page, with Shatner’s self-serving fantasy about how he came up to my house to get me to finish the script—(Notice how everyfuckinbody in the world is responsible for the success of the “City” script…everybody and anybody…except me?) there are only a few hideous errors in the telling, apart from the anecdote being apparently lifted in toto from Edward Gross’ book TREK: THE LOST YEARS (1989). Since we all know the Shatner TEKWAR novels were written by the fine sf/fantasy author Ron Goulart (who has a poison pill implant in his right lower bicuspid in case he is ever tempted to repeat that auctorial reality in public or private), so we know that one Chris Kreski wrote STAR TREK MOVIE MEMORIES for Shatner, and it’s a shame proper credit wasn’t given to Gross, but then, freewheeling use of other people’s material seems to be only de rigueur for the Trek family and its associates.

(Oh, what’s that? You think I’m kidding that Kreski and Shatner have pilfered Gross’s material? Here take a look at what Gross wrote, and you tell me if you think this is “coincidental parallel development.”)