It made it worse, somehow, that Alix was making such an effort.

Christy wanted to be able to push down her feelings, ignore everything that was bubbling to the surface, but she couldn’t.

“That sounds tempting. Maybe another time.”

“So it’s a no? No to what? No to wine? I’ll make you hot cocoa, if you prefer. Remember how we used to do that at Christmas? There was that time we used the cream your mum had saved for the pavlova. She was so angry with us it was like Christmas fireworks.”

Another time she would have laughed and enjoyed the memory. Right now she didn’t want to be taken back to a time when their friendship had been so simple.

“I need some thinking time. Robyn told me a lot of things. It was a lot to take in.”

“I’m sure. So let’s talk it through.”

Christy stopped walking. “I can’t, Alix. It’s...personal.”

“Personal.” Alix stopped, too. There was a brief pause. “And we no longer talk about personal things, do we? In that case, forget the wine and chat. We might as well go and rub ourselves with lavender and make polite conversation about nothing at all. How about the weather? Are we allowed to talk about the weather?”

Christy saw the hurt in her friend’s face. For all her tough approach, and although she’d never admit it, when it came to relationships, Alix was the most sensitive, vulnerable person she knew. She was single not through choice, but through fear.

“Alix—”

“What?” Alix shrugged. “It’s no problem. Whatever works for you. On second thought, you go and have the spa treatment. I can hit the spa anytime I like, but they don’t have trees like this in London, so I’m going to take a walk in the forest. I’ll see you later.” She spun away, pulled her hood down farther and trudged through heavy snow along the trail that led away from the spa.

“Alix!”

But her friend didn’t pause or look back.

Christy felt sick. They hadn’t even had the difficult conversation yet, and this was the stage they’d reached? The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Alix, but she’d managed to do that. It seemed that at the moment they did a lot of that. And she was hurting, too. She’d been hurting for a while.

She glanced from Alix’s stiff shoulders to the door of the spa.

She could go and have a massage. She could give Alix time to cool off and hope things settled down. Plan what she was going to say and say it another time. Ignore the undercurrents and try to relax and enjoy Christmas.

Except there would be no relaxing. Not now. And she knew that this would hover over both of them if it wasn’t dealt with.

It had been building for a while.

She thought about Robyn’s description of her relationship with her sister when they were young. She was my best friend.

She thought of all the years her mother could have had her sister. All those years she’d missed.