Peter nodded ruefully. “I opened my big mouth once too often.”

“Tell me.”

“One morning we were sitting on the slopes, watching the clouds sail slowly past the peak of Mount Hermon, to the north, when Jesus interrupted our thoughts by asking us who the people thought he was. Andrew replied that some said he was John the Baptist, and Thomas said that others believed he was Elijah or Jeremiah or one of the other prophets. Then Jesus said, ‘And how about all of you? Who do you say I am?’ I remember the strange looks that passed from one to another but no one dared to answer the master, so finally I stood up and said, ‘You are the Christ!’ ”

“The Christ—meaning the Messiah who would come to deliver the Jews from their enemies and restore the nation? The anointed one?”

“Yes.”

“Had you ever heard Jesus claim, in public or private, that he was the Messiah?”

“No.”

“In other words, you told him something that he had never admitted to any of you, himself?”

“Yes.”

“How did he take your declaration?”

“He seemed both shocked and pleased by my words, telling me that flesh and blood had not revealed it to me, but his Father who was in heaven. Then he charged all the apostles to tell no man what they had heard and told us that soon he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and they would kill him but he would be raised again on the third day. That’s when my mouth brought down his wrath on me. I had listened, with heavy heart, to his prophecies of agony and shame and death. How could such terrible evil befall the Messiah? ‘God forbid, Lord!’ I said. ‘None of those things will ever happen to you!’ ”

“Jesus had said that he must go to Jerusalem?”

“Yes.”

“And he became angry at your refusal to accept his words?”

“More than that. He laid his hands on me and shook me and shouted, ‘Get thee behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance and an offense to me, for your thoughts are not of God but of man!’ ”

“As if he knew what was ahead, for him, and your denial of his prophecy would only make it more difficult for him to bear?”

“Yes, but I did not realize it at that time. Then, because all the others had been filled with fear by his rare display of temper, the master put his arms around me as if to apologize and said, ‘If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?’ ”