It took every bit of my willpower to sit on one of the hard cushions, next to the old man. Hesitantly, I reached forward until the palms of both hands were resting on the smooth wood. I had to be dreaming. None of this was real. None of it. I could not possibly be sitting at the table where Jesus ate his last supper! The candle’s flame suddenly went blurry until I wiped my eyes. The old man watched me. He said nothing.

Loud slapping of wooden-soled sandals on stone eventually announced John’s return just before he rushed into the room and greeted Joseph. This “son of thunder” was smaller and far more frail than his brother, James, and also much younger. His light brown hair was clipped so that it did not quite reach his shoulders, and his sparse beard irregularly edged a fair-complexioned face whose protruding cheekbones gave him an almost emaciated appearance. As I studied him it was difficult for me to realize that here was the “beloved disciple” who, six long years ago, had been one of the inner circle of three, along with his brother and Peter, chosen by Jesus to be near him during so many of the most significant moments in his life. First impressions again. He sat across from Joseph and me, listening intently as the old man described the purpose of our visit, smiling and nodding frequently to both of us.

“My brother and Matthew have already told me about you, Matthias, and said I should be expecting a visit. Someday,” he said earnestly, “I hope to write a history too, but only of our Lord.”

I liked him. For an insane moment I wondered how I could assure him that he would indeed write that history, eventually, and unlike the others he would have many years to reflect on his experiences before he assembled what the world would come to know as the Gospel According to John.

“You will help me then?” I asked.

“Ask. What I know I shall tell you. Joseph, here”—he grinned—“can vouch for my honesty.”

“Thank you. John, I have already spoken to many who were close to Jesus, as you know, and also to some of his enemies. You were with him almost from the beginning of his mission, and I have been given to understand that you were the only apostle at his crucifixion. Where you can be of the greatest assistance to me is by providing information to fill some of those gaps in his life on which I have no firsthand testimony, either because none was available from the others or because I was too ignorant to ask the proper questions of them.”

“I understand.”

“Do you also understand that I do not believe that Jesus rose from the dead?”