I sigh, think. “It’s not that I’m holding back. We’re taking our time exploring what it means for us to…be together. And I’m okay with that.” I reach out and take her hand. “Yeah, I’m a man, with a man’s desires and needs, and yeah, it’s been a hell of a long time. But I’ll wait. And I’m not waiting for you, I’m waiting for us.”

She rubs one of my knuckles with her thumb. “Thank you for being so patient. For understanding.”

“It’s as much for me as it is you, Nadia. I want this between us to be…right, and good. I’m not ready to rush into anything either. It’s new, for both of us.”

“But you’re still taking your cues from me as to…how far things go.”

“Yeah.” I shrug. “I’ve had more time, I guess. I know I’m as ready as I can be to be intimate with someone again. It’s a big step, and it’s not something I take lightly. I’m not gonna rush into that just because my dumb growly male hormones are being pushy. It means more to me than just something physical.”

“You are holding back what your dumb growly male hormones want, then.”

“Of course.”

She stands up, still holding my hand. “Let’s go in. I’m hungry.” On the way up the steps to her cabin, she glances up at me. “Nathan?”

I pause with my hand on the doorknob. “Yeah.”

“You’re spinning it to be about you, but really, it’s for me.”

“Yeah, maybe a little.”

“Or a lot.” She lifts up and kisses me, a slant-wise kiss across my lips. “And I just wanted to say thank you.” She touches my lips. “Don’t say anything else. I just want you to know that I see it, and I’m thankful.”

We go in, and we have a quiet dinner which we make together, something neither of us has ever done before. There’s burgers fried in a cast iron skillet, puffy whole grain buns, a tossed salad, a bottle of wine.

We’re on the couch, and lately, this is where we kiss, and then eventually she goes to bed and I sleep here, on the couch. Better than alone, in my cabin, far away from her. And I think she likes having me near. It’s a nice couch, comfortable. But I think I’ve also been sensing her coming to a shift.

She has something on her mind, something she’s still chewing on, and I wait her out.

“So…” she trails off, starts again. “I’ve tried to come up with the best way to say this, but can’t make it sound any better. So here goes.”

I touch her cheek with my thumb. “Whatever it is, just say it.”