The children were tearful, the boy anyway. The girl asked me if I was going away to find a husband. I suspect she was glad to be rid of her oppressor: three glorious weeks of picking her nose without a slap on the hand. In an attempt to make a lesson of it, I embarked on a longwinded explanation of the geography: ‘There is an open body of water which separates New South Wales from Van Diemen’s Land, to the south of us. That passage is called Bass’s Strait, and it contains islands, which are occupied by sealers. There are no natives there.’

The boy watched this performance, his nine-year-old face serious. ‘That is where the lags go,’ he said with authority, ‘when they run away.’

~

The weather was perfect as late November became early December, and it was decided that we would sail on the first day of the Austral summer, December first. The night before, I walked the streets of the town, having wound back the chaos of my home so it wouldn’t be painful to return to. I’d found temporary lodgings for the mare: she was an easy guest, the dear thing. I put the lid on the well and blocked the chimney. Everything I needed—which was not much—had been taken down to the wharf.

People sauntered arm in arm, or in conversational groups, or staggering drunken mobs. ‘M’lady shoul’ be promenading with a gennleman,’ leered one such drunk.

‘Let me know if you see one,’ I answered. His friends laughed at him and his face twisted to a snarl as they dragged him off.

The streets were changing, and the people with them. More of them every year, arriving in boats, multiplying. White faces outnumbering the native ones now, and free settlers a majority over lags and soldiers. Babes in arms, toddlers at heel. Young people in love or in need of it. I had friends among those walking the streets, but I avoided their faces. I did not want to have to explain; what I was doing was inexplicable. I hurried on, found a quieter space at the wharf and the Danish boat waiting patiently there.

I spoke to her softly and I believe she heard my longings.