“The thing about Madison is I can’t stand thinking about her being with you. I can’t stand thinking about me not being with you. I care about you and this way too much, and I don’t want her to ruin it.” She looked everywhere except for me, and I heard it in her voice. It.

“None of that seems crazy. I feel like that too,” I said.

I’m falling in love with you.

Those words shocked me as I thought them.

What, Nick? Every voice in my head swarmed, confused, trying to figure out what that meant. It was too soon. Too fast. Too much.

You’re not in love, Nick, my brain protested, You’re just happy.

But this wasn’t about me. It was about her, and how I always hoped to make her feel special. And safe. Especially safe.

“I couldn’t stand not being with you either,” I said. I love you. “I—”

I almost told her how I felt. I probably would have, if Carter and Hannah hadn’t called us over.

Eliza headed towards her friends, who were apparently all waiting for us.

I would have told Eliza if I hadn’t let her walk away from me and into the circle with Carter, Hannah, Robert (obviously), Austin, Madison, Jeff, and a few juniors.

The words unsaid left a strange taste in my mouth. Like soy sauce mixed with Diet Coke.

“Lezzgo, Nick,” Jeff called. “We’re playing spin the bottle.”

Eliza took a little stutter step, but Hannah already tugged her hand, making space (by inching closer to Carter) for Eliza to sit next to her. Carter sighed when he saw that Eliza would be playing the game and looked at Austin and me as if to communicate that as far as she was concerned, we weren’t there.

If I’d ever asked for proof that the universe hates me . . . well, there it was.

“Come on, Nick,” said Jeff, “We’re waiting.”

“This isn’t really my game,” I answered. Let’s go, I tried to signal to Eliza.

“That’s a lie,” said Carter.

I debated leaving Eliza there. She was a big girl, and I had other people to talk to. We didn’t have to be everywhere together.

“Mags, you know we can’t play without you,” said Austin, “Everyone wants to kiss Nick Maguire.”

“Aaaaand Austin owes us pizza,” said Carter.

Austin just laughed.

“Two pizzas,” I corrected. “One from earlier.” I took the space between Jeff and one of the girls I’d seen around but didn’t really know. Though I should have, since she might have been at our soccer game? I forget.

There was no way this would end well.

First, the group itself had some really weird mojo, where Carter was with Hannah, even though he swore it wasn’t going to happen. Madison kept staring at them, looking like she was going to have a panic attack. Austin kept staring at her and looking like he might panic himself.

Also, spin the bottle is a stupid game for sixth graders. It’s basically a recipe for mono. Like, freaking go ask the girl out that you want to kiss. It’s not that hard.