“What did you do to her?” I blink back tears. I won’t cry. Not in front of him.

The doctor’s voice is thick and full of phlegm when he speaks. “It’s, uh, it’s not your concern.” His eyes flick to the camera. Then he leans in and lowers his voice. “This is what I’ve been warning you about.”

“How could you?”

“Those girls could not comply. The hospital feels,” he pauses and looks up at the camera again. “We feel it’s for the, um, greater good. No fertile female can be wasted.”

“That’s my mother, you bastard!” I say through my teeth. “She has children! You turned her into a living corpse!” I bang my fists on the railings. “How can you sleep at night?!”

“Uh, yes, well, listen,” he says, running a hand over his greasy mop of hair. He steps closer to my bed than he’s ever dared and lowers his voice to a whisper. “You’ve got to comply. If not, you’ll end up down there. There won’t be much I can do to help—”

The intercom on the wall squawks to life. “Dr. Rayburn, please report to your supervisor immediately.” The voice is cold, calculating and surprisingly female.

Rayburn stiffens. His eyes grow as wide as a child’s caught in some unspeakable act. He’s been kind, and now he’s in trouble. I swivel my head away as he turns to leave, feeling the tears starting to well. Even the smallest kindnesses are banished here. I can’t stand it. I look out the dark window. Dawn’s graying the sky. I wonder if it will be one of my last sunrises. What does it matter? My mother can’t see sunrises anymore.

“Forty-eight hours,” the doctor mumbles as he stands at my door. “You have that long to prove to them that you’ll, uh, you’ll go along with the program. After that, well,” he looks at me with sympathy, “you know.”

When the door clicks closed, I let the sobs break free. Crying is one of the only things I’m still free to do.

* * *

I’m in my room, staring at the clock. The TV is on. Some show with two men fighting. I can’t focus. I watch the second hand tour the clock face and think of my mama. What did it feel like when they put her under? Could she hear me when I screamed her name? If I could get to her, could I somehow wake her up?