Come on, honey, he thought. Feel good now. We should celebrate. The interview went well.

All he said was: “Helen?” She stirred, and turned towards him. “Is everything okay?”

“Just fine. I wanted to see if you needed anything.”

“No, I feel better.” She pulled herself up until she rested against the head of the bed. Her blonde hair was tousled, her normally pretty face worn and blurred with sleep. “How was it?”

“Not bad,” David said. A bit better than that, actually. Why don’t you tell her the truth?

He knew the answer to that one. The reality was, he had been searching for a job for close to six months now, and every interview was the same. None of them had resulted in anything but a few terse rejection letters: “thank you for your interest…” and “we regret to inform you at this time…” And since he knew that the situation they were in was his own fault, he was leery of giving Helen any false expectations.

“I’ve got a good feeling on this one,” she said. “Don’t you?”

“Sure. We need every bit of good karma we can get.” He stroked her bare arm lightly. “Feel like some dinner? I can go pick up Chinese.”

“You know we can’t afford that,” Helen said. He stiffened. She studied him a moment, as if feeling for his mood, then took his hand. “Sorry. I don’t mean to sound that way. I know how you feel. It’s just that sometimes I miss the way things were.”

“You think I don’t?” He stood up abruptly, letting her hand fall to the covers. She looked at him, her eyes full of hurt. Don’t do this, the look said. We need each other right now. And there was something else in that look, hovering only for an instant but as clear as day nonetheless. I love you, it said. But I can’t take much more of this.

“I’m busting my balls out there,” he said.

“I know you are. But something’s got to change. I could give it another try—”

“No,” he said, cutting her off. “We’ve discussed this. Jessie needs you home.” I need you home, he almost added, but stopped himself. He needed her there with Jessie to make sure everything was okay, needed to know their daughter was in capable hands. But they had been over all that, and there was no use dragging it up again.

“You are so goddamned chauvinistic sometimes.”

“It’s not that, Helen, and you know it. I love Jessie, but you know how to handle her. And you’ve told me yourself that you couldn’t go back to work right now if you wanted to, with the licensing board and the paperwork.”

“I could.” Helen sat, arms crossed, and glared at him. “I’d just be behind a little, that’s all.” They were both silent for a long moment.