Not I, at any rate. I may have my thoughts (however stupid I am assured they are), I may have my stupid thoughts in—what did she say?—‘a head that can only hold one nonsensical idea at a time’; but I know that the king is mad, and the world is mad. The queen is now to be his sister, and I am to be his wife and the new queen. I am to be queen of England. I, Kitty Howard, am to marry the King of England and to be his queen. Voilà indeed.

I cannot believe it is true. And, I wish someone had thought of this: what real gain is there in it for me? For I have thought about this now. What should prevent him waking up one morning and saying that I too was pre-contracted and that our royal marriage is not valid? Or that I am unfaithful, and he had better behead me? What should prevent him taking a fancy to a stupid, pretty maid in waiting of mine, and putting me to one side for her?

Exactly! I don’t think this has occurred to anyone but me. Exactly. Nothing can prevent him. And those people like my grandmother, who are so free with their insults and their slaps, who say that it is a tremendous honour and a fine step up for a ninny like me, might well consider that a fool can be jumped up, but a fool can also be thrown down; and who is going to catch me then?

ANNE, RICHMOND PALACE,

12 JULY 1540

I have written to say that I agree with the findings of the inquiry, and they have all witnessed it, one after another, the great men who came here to argue with me, the ladies that I had called my friends when I was Queen of England and they were desperate to serve in my court. I have admitted that I was pre-contracted, and not free to marry, I have even apologised for this.

This is a dark night for me in England. The darkest night I have ever faced. I am not to be queen. I can stay in England at the king’s unreliable favour, while he marries the little girl who was my maid in waiting, or I can go home penniless, to live with my brother whose spite and negligence has brought me to this. I am very much alone tonight.

This is the most beautiful palace in the kingdom, overlooking the river in its own great park. It was built by the king’s father as a great show palace in a peaceful, beautiful country. This wonderful place is to be part of the payment the king offers to be rid of me. And I am to have the Boleyn inheritance, their family house: the pretty castle of Hever. No-one but me seems to find this amusing: that Henry should bribe me with the other Queen Anne’s childhood home, which he owns only because he beheaded her. Also, I can have a generous allowance. I shall be the first lady of the kingdom, second only to the new queen, and regarded as the king’s sister. We shall all be friends. How happy we shall be.