I look from Pod to Pander to Igby, genuinely shocked that they’re looking to me for answers. “I don’t know,” I say. “Really, I don’t know. Igby, you should be making these decisions, you’re the one who’s decoding Happy’s plans. Or, Akimi, you just stormed the city and brought back supplies single-handedly. Or, Pander, you’re the bravest person I know. What do I bring to this team? Trouble, that’s what: You’ve had to rescue me from Tyco; save me from the roof of the Vertical; break me out of the Block. What am I going to do next, invite Happy to our front door? I’m a liability; why are you looking at me?”

For some reason my anger has risen up during this outburst. Perhaps it’s because I’m just now realizing how much of a mess I’ve caused and what a burden I’ve been to my friends.

“Holy hell, Luka,” Pod says, a big grin on his face, “are you fishing for compliments?”

“What? No!” I reply.

“Yeah, I think Luka wants us to tell him how great he is,” Akimi says, arms folded across her chest, eyebrows raised.

“Aw, is little Luka feeling sad?” Pander adds, grinning.

I can’t help but smile, despite residual anger still remaining. I shake my head. “Piss off,” I say, and they all laugh.

“You got us out of the Loop in the first place,” Igby says. “You went through the rat tunnel and saved Wren’s life; you went into the city to find help for Akimi when she broke her leg.”

“You led us into battle against the Alts in Midway Park,” Pander adds.

“And I got Blue killed,” I say. “I got Mable killed. I failed.”

“It’s the end of the world, moron. People are going to die,” Pander says.

“You saved my life in the city twice,” Sam says.

“Honestly,” I say, “I’ve done no more than any of you. Most of you have saved my life at some point. We’ll decide together what we do next.”

Pander nods. “Spoken like a true leader.”

I flip my middle finger at her, and she smiles. The sight wipes my own smile away—I think this is first time I’ve ever seen Pander smile.

The next few hours are spent discussing exactly how we’re going to try to find the Missing. We talk about the history of the Missing: how people would disappear from the city in groups of three or four; the rumors that they were hiding in the radioactive Red Zones; the Church of the Last Religion claiming that they had been raptured; the search parties that would try to find them to no avail; and how they had shown up at Midway Park and saved us from certain death.