Bea elbows me in the ribs and I laugh. We’re on the roof, lying side by side, watching the sun dip. Our way up was a wonky railing at the back of the Old Man’s terrace. We climbed up when no one was around and lay across the warm terra-cotta tiles. Our second-favourite secret meeting spot (after the Circle Line).

“I’d like to be Jewish,” I say, staring at the sky. Above us, blood-red clouds hustle over brightening stars.

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“You get to have this whole community thing. Feel part of something bigger than you.”

“You’ve got four parents and a brother, Moon. There’s your community.”

“That’s different.”

“So you’re saying what?” Bea flicks her hair and throws her hands behind her head. “You wanna keep Shabbat?”

“Yeah. But…what exactly is Shabbat?”

“Day of rest. Memorial to God rescuing the Israelites from slavery in Egypt.”

“See, that sounds cool.”

“I mean seriously, Moon. Cut that out. You are not alone.”

“I know. It’s just…don’t you ever feel you’re not really here? Like you’re just observing all this? Like you’re one of those stars in Orion’s Belt, up in all that blackness, looking down?”

Bea laughs and rolls her eyes.

“You’re laughing,” I tell her, annoyed, “because you don’t think I’ve got a legitimate claim to be screwed up. Unlike you.”

I regret saying it immediately, but Bea just looks at me.

“Moon,” she says, “sometimes I swear your head is shoved so far up your skinny arse you don’t see what’s right in front of you, never mind what’s thousands of light-years away.”

I press my lips together. The roof smells of old leaves and tar.

“They used to fight, didn’t they?” she says. “Frankie and the Old Man.”

“All the time,” I whisper, watching the sun’s curve burn to nothing. “She’d come home and hammer at him. And they’d say all these hurtful things.”

“Yeah,” Bea says. “Mine too. Sometimes it felt like the world was ending. And then, in a way, it actually did.”

We lie in silence, not speaking.

Bea turns to me. “Look, you can be messed up if you want, Moon. Go ahead. Knock yourself out. I’m not gonna stop you. Because you know who’s got your back?”

I look at her. A faint breeze lifts her hair away from her eyes. Her face is pale, her eyes bright and distracted. She smiles and my heart pings. “Yeah. You.”

“Exactly. And whose got mine?”

“Me,” I tell her.

“Damn right,” Bea says. “Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you love me more than anyone else in the whole entire universe.”

I reach out and grab her hand in mine. “That’s kinda true.”

She laughs. “So, you wanna know if I believe in God?”

“Yeah. I do.”