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Back The Bad Place Save as PDF
Chapters (72)
  1. Cover
  2. THE BAD PLACE
  3. Contents
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. Acknowledgements
  71. About the author
  72. An Invitation from the Publisher

‘I shouted at him.’ His face contorted in pain. ‘Just before it happened. I was trying to get the buggy down, you know how complicated that thing was, and he was running around me, laughing and playing, being silly, just being Jake, you know? It had been a long, exhausting day, hadn’t it?’

‘It had.’

‘It was pissing down all day, do you remember, the other kids were moody, and me and you had been bickering, we were all tired and miserable. I couldn’t get the buggy down and Jake wouldn’t listen, he just kept running in a circle around me, and I shouted at him, I told him not to be so bloody stupid and to stand still, but when I tried to get hold of him, he squirmed away and ran further along the pavement. I shouted at him to stop, I was bloody angry, Jake, come back here now! And then—’ He shut his eyes. ‘That car came out of nowhere, it mounted the pavement. And he… he…’

He dropped his head. Sasha watched his shoulders heave as he wept.

‘You are not responsible.’ Biting back her own tears, Sasha reached across the table to take his hand, but he moved it away. ‘It was an accident.’

‘I was angry with him. I shouted at him.’ He gasped. ‘And then he died.’

‘I see this all the time at work, Kev. People beating themselves up because life isn’t like some movie. People who get to the hospital too late to say goodbye to a dying relative. Women who regret they didn’t kiss their husband on the morning of their final day together because they didn’t want to smudge their lipstick. Life is messy. We often don’t get to say goodbye, we don’t get to tell our nearest and dearest one last time how much we love them. Sometimes we shout, sometimes we are unreasonable and grumpy and preoccupied. Yes, you snapped at Jake, but it was just a moment. He died knowing you loved him dearly.’ She nodded at the ceiling. ‘And you know what, he’s looking down on us right now and it’s breaking his heart to see you so unhappy, to see how this silly thought has become all twisted inside of you. I don’t hate you, Kev, I love you, and it hurts to see you in such pain, and I wish you had spoken to me about it earlier.’

She looked down to see tissues on the edge of the table, discreetly placed there by the waitress or someone, and she pushed them towards him.

‘I think about him all the time.’ Kev blew his nose. ‘I miss him so much.’