Ginny didn't look at Hermione again.

Before long, Lucius was making his excuses to return to Narcissa. And Hermione couldn't find the strength to wish to stay in the same room as Ginny any longer. Her mental shelves were straining under the weight of her heavy Occlumency, threatening to buckle any moment.

She didn't even take a final look at Ginny as Lucius grabbed her arm and guided her up the stairs, her mind throbbing and numb. Down the long corridor to her bedroom, she felt Lucius glance at her, but she was too exhausted to respond.

As she stepped through her doorway, Lucius warned, "Stay in this room. No wandering."

She nodded mutely. What reason was there to wander? It was impossible to reach Ginny now. She had no excuses. She was out of clever plans.

Lucius stood in the doorway as she took off her jewelry, piece by piece. Her vision blurred, but her hands were steady. She startled at the sound of a shut door. She felt the hum of locking charms and trespassing wards. And then, nothing.

Hermione unclasped her dress, letting the tulle and satin fall to the ground. As she stepped out of it and wandered to the bathroom, it occurred to her that there was nothing she could have done differently. Nothing she said or did could have given her a moment alone with Draco on the balcony. Nothing in her power could have cleared the ballroom so she could have rushed across it and taken Ginny in her arms.

It had all been hopeless from the start.

Turning on the taps, she stood by her vanity and stared at the tub as it filled.

First Draco, then Ginny. She'd lost them both tonight.

A memory sparked. There was one thing she could have done differently. She should have told Draco that she missed him too. Now he was back in Zürich, and he might die without ever hearing the words.

The tub was filled, the taps magically turning off. She stepped into the perfectly warmed waters, watching the ripples move aside for her. Her face was stinging.

She should have been bold and reckless, smashing champagne stems and slicing throats in that room, like Ginny had been once. She should have shown her that Hermione Granger was still in this shell of a body covered in tulle and makeup. Maybe Ginny would have remembered herself as well.

The water surrounded her shoulders. She submerged deeper, slipping her ears and eyes below the surface just as the first sob tore from her throat, the salt from her tears poisoning the lavender-scented bathwater. She stared up through the funhouse mirror of water at the high, cream-colored ceiling.

She missed Harry. She missed Ron. She missed her parents.

She had Ginny in her grasp tonight and let her slip.

And Draco Malfoy might never come home to her.

She opened her mouth underwater and screamed.

~*~

The sorrow of New Year's Eve hung like a shawl across her shoulders for a week. She only saw the elves for three days, as if Narcissa knew she needed space. Perhaps Narcissa needed space as well — after all, her husband and son had left for war all over again.