I slept well that night. If anyone tried to sneak into my house, I didn’t hear it. And the next morning, on my way to the dining hall, I caught a glimpse of the Steamroller in action.

The boys were doing PT: squats, planks, push-ups. Some were playing a quick-reaction game along the lines of Simon Says, with Rhys yelling, ‘Toes! Knees! Head! Shoulders! Toes!’

But things were different today. Each section was being drilled by only one veteran instead of two—and over in the farthest corner of the parade ground, Shaun and Joe were both shouting at Jake. ‘Lower! Release! Up! Lower! Release! Up! All the way down, Jake! All the way down!’

After twenty minutes of that, I would have been crawling.

At breakfast Jake sat between two veterans. No one was allowed to talk to him, and he wasn’t allowed to talk at all. ‘Permission to speak, sir,’ I heard him growl at Shaun, who promptly said, ‘Permission denied.’

When Jake muttered something rude in response, he was made to do twenty push-ups right there in the dining hall. Warren and Shaun kept roaring at him until he finally buckled. It must have given the other boys indigestion; Marcus and Sam and Connor seemed to enjoy it, but Ali didn’t.

As for Dean, I found him hiding in the pantry while I was cleaning up. Joe had to coax him out.

I spent more time than usual in the kitchen that morning because I had to clear some space for the ten o’clock delivery. I was expecting fresh supplies for Saturday’s passing-out parade: cream, butter, strawberries, rockmelon, bread. I had to make several trips to the outside bins and kept being stopped by boys with plates to scrape. Marcus tried to throw some plastic in with the food scraps. Sam completely missed my compost tub and had to pick his toast crusts off the floor.

Aaron sidled up to me, plate in hand, and said in a low voice, ‘You knew my mum.’

I looked at him sharply. His wide, pale eyes were glued to my face. ‘Yes.’

‘What was she like back then?’

I had to rearrange my thoughts. ‘She was scared. A little disorganised. But we weren’t really that close.’ Sensing a weird kind of intensity in his gaze, I felt compelled to add, ‘She loved you. I’m sure she still feels the same.’

Aaron pursed his lips. Then someone called to him and he loped off. I thought about our exchange as I wheeled my barrow down to the jetty. For some reason I found myself wondering if Krystal was on drugs. Or an alcoholic. What was she like back then? It was an odd question. It implied there was something wrong with her now.

Guilt settled over me like a blanket.