“Where are you going?”

Well, I can’t just tell her, can I? But I’m all out of lies today.

“I’m going back. To Genesis.”

“You weren’t going to say goodbye?”

I had wanted to say goodbye, but I’d been worried that facing my family would make me change my mind. I’m still not sure I won’t change my mind, considering my conviction is about as stable as a soap bubble.

My mom abandons her cake and strides over to me, wraps me in a hug. “Good,” she says. “It’s better for you there.”

Her hug is warm, but it doesn’t feel nice that she’s so eager to be rid of me again.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” she continues. “I would much rather have you close. I missed you so much while you were gone.”

Oh. I squeeze her tighter.

“I kept you out of everything for as long as I could, but if you have to be involved, it’s safer for you there than here.”

“Wait. What do you mean you kept me out of it?” I mumble into her shoulder.

“I didn’t let the Families initiate you when you came of age. I didn’t want them to know about your abilities and make you their constant test subject.”

What?

I pull away from the hug and play her words over again in my head.

I didn’t let the Families initiate you.

“I thought I wasn’t initiated because I wasn’t good enough?” Even thinking about it has familiar shame resurfacing.

My mother takes my face in her hands, looks me in the eyes, and says, “Ada, you have always been good enough.”

I can barely breathe.

My mother keeps speaking, softly stroking my cheek. “The reason I finally allowed them to initiate you is so that you would be recruited to the institute. I wanted you there for your own safety. The moment the Families learned about your gift, I knew I needed to keep you away from them.”

My gift. Is that what she thinks of my abilities? Then how could she have made me think of them as a curse?

My pulse echoes in my ears, and my voice quavers when I say, “I thought you were scared of me.”

“I was never scared of you. I was only ever scared for you. Terrified. Of what the Families might do if they understood what you are.”

There’s a stinging behind my eyes and in the back of my throat as my mind rearranges my view of reality once again.