“Me too.” I feel like I’m so close. That with more time, I’ll be able to make him see. Despite everything he’s done, I can’t help but still believe his heart is good.

Kor takes my hand in his, stroking my scar with his thumb, and even without the beer, I start to feel tipsy.

“Being a Sire has really amped up my creativity,” he says. “Have you always had this constant artistic urge?”

“I guess.” I hear the unspoken part of the question. If you have, then why have you done so little with it?

“That’s not the only constant urge, if you know what I mean.” He laughs.

My face goes red hot. He’s talking about his libido. Because, apparently, Sires are all a bunch of floozies. I had the absolute most embarrassing conversation with Hypatia about it.

“Sires tend to be quite amorous,” she’d said. “Our bodies, like our minds, are primed for creativity.”

Learning about the birds and bees from a fourteen-year-old was… an experience.

“I guess I don’t really have a basis for comparison” is what I say to Kor now, suddenly wishing New York was on a fault line so the chances of an earthquake interrupting this conversation would be higher.

Our cozy sitting arrangement takes on a whole new meaning now that the spill-my-guts-about-how-horny-I-get line has been crossed. I pull my hand away, which backfires when Kor moves his hand to my thigh.

“Isn’t it a rush?” Kor asks, his other hand flaring with the glow of Ha’i. “Knowing your own power?”

But I can’t help thinking about what he’s done to get that power. I wonder whose blood it was this time. Even knowing he needs it to keep himself alive and that it might have been given to him willingly, bile rises in my throat.

He feels me stiffen and sighs. “Ada, I know you’re still mad at me, but can’t you see that it was all worth it? We’re going to change the world. Together.”

Together.

I remember the years of watching him and Izzy go off to train without me. Of watching his concerts and his interviews and the way he leveraged his platform to make other people care. I was never more than a bystander, wishing I could have a fraction of his talents. Now he’s telling me I can have everything I’ve ever wanted. I can make a difference in this world with him.

But I’m starting to realize that I can make a difference on my own.