‘I don’t feel guilty toward Jay,’ she said. ‘Somehow I don’t.’

‘I believe he played the tapes to everybody he could get hold of, to show that he was too big a man to be hurt. But he was hurt just the same.’

‘We’re stopping,’ said Amy.

Now that we had come to the place, her need to get out was urgent. She didn’t wait for the chauffeur. She threw open the door and strode over the pale March turf. Her cloth ulster was fully buttoned. I wondered whether she would wear a raccoon coat if I were to buy one for her.

I followed her to the new grave. It was neatly prepared. Here were the canvas bands again, ready for the coffin. I looked at the oval photos set into the headstones. Old Wustrin wore the clipped mustache that I remembered, and an old-fashioned high collar. He held his head at an intelligent angle. Jay’s mother was photographed in a silk dress, with bangs cut straight on her welcoming face. Come one, come all. But she was indifferent to everyone. She still cared for nobody but her son.

I offered Amy my pocket handkerchief. She didn’t dry her tears but covered her mouth with it.

The back of the van opened, and the coffin was eased forward. To my surprise, the chauffeur volunteered as a pallbearer. There were no prayers said; no ceremony had been arranged. The coffin was set in place. A button was pressed, and the swift, smooth, soundless little engine went into action. When the coffin reached bottom, the gravediggers slipped the bands from beneath and picked up the spades they had stuck in the soil.

I stood back from myself and looked into Amy’s face. No one else on all this earth had such features. This was the most amazing thing in the life of the world.

The coffin was waiting to be covered. And the backhoe chattered and then roared and made an abrupt run at the soil, printing more laurel-leaf tracks behind. Taking Amy by the hand, I said, ‘It’s not the best moment for a marriage offer. But if it’s a mistake, it won’t be my first one with you. This is the time to do what I’m now doing, and I hope you’ll have me.’

THE BEGINNING

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First published in the USA and Great Britain by Viking 1997