Eli, the orphan boy Ben had adopted as his own. In a world ravaged by the darkness, this child had been his saving grace. Without him, Ben would have succumbed to the great scourge of fear.

“Are you afraid?” Eli asked. Even in the dark, Ben could see the brightness of the boy’s blue eyes. The rest of him—dark brown hair, freckled cheeks, short frame for his twelve years of age—was different from his other children. But those blue eyes reminded him of them constantly. All three had those beautiful blue eyes.

“Yes,” Ben said.

Eli was drawing circles in the dirt at his feet with a long stick he’d collected when they’d arrived at the campsite. They’d been on the road for several days. After months of searching, Ben had finally narrowed down the likely location of the valley Rose had taken his children to. But it had been over ten years ago now. There were no guarantees.

A familiar stab of shame filled his gut and he didn’t fight it. The only way to be free of shame was to let himself feel it. Shame for not seeking out his surviving children earlier, for letting them leave at all, for not protecting them the way a father was supposed to, for failing them according to the standards of the world.

Shame was just a feeling, he thought, and it was okay.

Ben shifted and exhaled. A wave of coughing overtook him and he bent over, fist at his mouth. The disease was progressing quickly. Intensifying. The headaches, the heat spells, the nausea—all getting worse with each passing day.

“We could stop at a doctor on the way,” Eli said.

Ben shook his head. “I don’t want to waste time.”

Eli didn’t argue. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

Ben smiled. “Nah, I have all I need.”

Eli thought about this for a moment before a sly grin pulled at his mouth. “Except powdered donuts. We ran out of those yesterday.”

Ben chuckled and Eli’s smile widened.

“We’ll get some in the morning,” Ben said.

The two fell into silence, the space in which they normally operated. Simply being together without needing to speak, each one was occupied with his own thoughts. Eli had never really been much of a talker, which suited Ben fine. And when the boy did speak, it was best to listen.

Ben’s thoughts returned to the distant past. To the moments that had redirected his life. Falling in love with Julianna, getting married, having three children, joining the Holy Family, the pain of their misalignment, the day she was given what they called true sight, the way he’d cursed her for believing such nonsense, the death of little Lukas, the day she’d vanished with the others, bent on following Rose Pierce to a glorious end.