I lifted my eyes to her face but kept them trained on her cheek so I didn’t have to look directly at her. I didn’t know what to say, how to even begin to explain myself. Everything I thought of sounded like insanity.

Repent, Grace, Bobbie’s voice whispered inside my head. With a quick flick of my eyes to the right, I saw her standing along the side wall.

Do whatever it takes to realign yourself with them.

I returned my gaze to Rose, but before I could say anything she spoke again. “This level of deception is truly something I never would have expected from you.”

My eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“We are far beyond sorry,” Rose said. I could feel the sharp edge to her words. As if they could reach out and cut my skin.

Denounce the boy’s heresy, Bobbie said. You have to prove your faithfulness.

“I was led astray by the boy’s lies,” I began. “That doesn’t excuse my actions, but I see so clearly now how blind I was.” Something switched inside me, and the instinct to protect myself rose up. It was as if Bobbie had taken over.

“He lied to me, led me to believe what I was doing was godly and good.” I paused, letting myself accept my own words. “I see now how foolish I was to believe him. I don’t even know why I did. He tricked me, and I feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed.” My bottom lip was quivering and I could feel a cool tear slip down my cheek.

Good, Grace. Confess. Beg forgiveness.

“I betrayed you all and threatened our community. And I’ll do whatever’s necessary to show my repentance.”

I looked up at the council. They were faces I knew and respected. Rebecca’s aged brown eyes, Colin’s hard thin mouth, brothers Peter and Donald with their matching stern expressions. I prayed they would remember me as I had been.

“I will face whatever consequences you deem fit. I wish to return to my faith here. To be made pure and holy again.”

Andrew was finally looking at me, and I addressed him directly. “I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done. I beg you to forgive me.” The last few words barely made it out in a whisper, and I thought I saw empathy cross Andrew’s face.

I kept my eyes on him, longing to return to the days when he looked at me with fondness. Reminded again how cruel I’d been to reject his desire for me. If given another chance, I would cherish his affection.