I pushed myself up and slowly turned to where she sat on the corner of the bench, legs crossed, arms the same. But I didn’t see how she could help me now. So I slumped back down and curled up on my side.

“They killed him,” I whispered.

“He threatened them,” she replied.

“He didn’t deserve to die.”

“Do you deserve to die, Grace? Does your unborn baby deserve to die? Because if you don’t wise up, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

I sniffed, a fresh round of tears filling my eyes. I had shoved the thought of my baby aside, but her words made me sick. Surely it wasn’t that bad.

“I don’t want my baby to die.”

“You should have listened to me from the start,” Bobbie said.

“Rose would never threaten my child.”

“You heard Sylous. I was trying to protect you from this, but you ignored me. This is all your fault.”

I pulled tighter in on myself, knowing everything she said was true.

“Why, Grace? Because a boy made you believe in something that felt warm and fuzzy? It didn’t save him. You think it’ll save you now?”

“He showed me things.”

“And where are those things now? Can they save you or your baby? No, Grace, they can’t.”

She was angry with me and had every right to be. I had abandoned common sense. I’d ignored discernment and wisdom.

I heard her move, then she was kneeling beside me, resting her hand on my shoulder. “The boy can’t help you, Grace, but I still can.”

“It’s too late,” I whispered. “There’s no out now.”

“Yes, there is. You were deceived, but you can find your way back. It won’t be easy and it will take time, but you are still a part of this community.”

“You’re saying I should trust Rose now, after what she did?”

“No. Trust no one. But you can repent. Do whatever it takes to realign yourself with them. Beg Rose for forgiveness from the congregation. Confess and beg for mercy. You have to show them you understand the error of your ways and swear you won’t stray from the path again.”

“Confess how?”

“Confess you were deceived. Denounce the boy and his lies. You have to prove your faithfulness to the Holy Family.” Bobbie stroked the side of my head, her fingers warm and comforting. “Repent, Grace.”

I shook my head and released a sob.

“I know it’s hard, because a part of you loved Eli. He was a beautiful boy, and for all I know there was some good truth mixed in with everything else. But even a little poison spoils the batch, right? You have to take responsibility for what you’ve done and repent. It’s the only way.”