OFFICER: Did you say size eleven D, Miss Simple?

DOROTHY: Never mind that now, that’s all been settled.

OFFICER: Amicably? Out of court, you mean?

DOROTHY: Amicably and out of court. The saboteur has made full restitution and the case is dropped. Now what I want to ask of you is this: how do I get out to No. 77?

OFFICER: Highway No. 77? That road’s abandoned.

DOROTHY: Not by me. Where is it?

OFFICER: It’s in an awful condition, it’s overgrown by brambles!

DOROTHY: I don’t care! Where is it?

OFFICER: They say the rain has loosened half the stones. Also the wind has taken liberties with it. The moon at night makes such confusing shadows people lose their way, go dangerous places, do outrageous things!

DOROTHY: Things such as what?

OFFICER: Oh—senseless acrobatics, cartwheels in mid-air, unheard of songs they sing, distil the midnight vapors into wine—do pagan dances!

DOROTHY: Marvelous! How do I get there?

OFFICER: I warn you, Miss Simple, once you go that way you can’t come back to Primanproper, Massachusetts!

DOROTHY: Who wants to come back here? Not I! Never was anyone a more willing candidate for expatriation than I am tonight! All I want to know is where it is— Is it north, south, or east or west of town?

OFFICER: That’s just it, ma’am. It’s in all four directions.

DOROTHY: Then I don’t suppose that I could possibly miss it.

OFFICER: Hardly possible, if you want to find it. Is that all?

DOROTHY: Yes, sir, that’s all. —Thanks very much. —Good-bye! [Music up. Dorothy softly.] Good-bye forever!

MOONY’S KID DON’T CRY

Moony’s Kid Don’t Cry was performed at Straight Wharf Theatre, Nantucket, Massachusetts, opening on September 3, 1946. It was directed and designed by Albert Penalosa. The cast was as follows:

Scene: Kitchen of a cheap three-room flat in the industrial section of a large American city. Stove and sink are eloquent of slovenly housekeeping. A wash-line, stretched across one corner of the room, is hung with diapers and blue work-shirts. Above the stove is nailed a placard, KEEP SMILING. The kitchen table supports a small artificial Christmas tree. By far the most striking and attractive article in the room is a brand-new hobby-horse that stands stage Center. There is something very gallant, almost exciting, about this new toy. It is chestnut brown, with a long flowing mane, fine golden nostrils and scarlet upcurled lips. It looks like the very spirit of unlimited freedom and fearless assault.

As the curtain opens, the stage is dark except for a faint bluish light through the window- and door-panes. Offstage in the next room are heard smothered groans and creaking bedsprings.

JANE [offstage]: Quit that floppin’ around. It keeps me awake.

MOONY: Think I’m gettin’ any sleep, do you?!

[Sound of more rattling.]

JANE: Quiet! You’ll wake the kid up.

MOONY: The kid, the kid! What’s more important, him sleeping or me? Who brings home the paycheck, me or the kid? [Pause.]