PAUL [after a pause]: I don’t want to let you go.

ANNABELLE: You want to keep me?

PAUL: Yes.

ANNABELLE: Then take me as your wife.

PAUL: Annabelle!

ANNABELLE: I know!

[She moves away from him and smiles.]

That’s the most surprising proposal you’ve ever received from a woman!

PAUL: It’s the first I’ve ever received. [He is rather stunned.]

ANNABELLE: I’m beautiful and desirable. I’d make you a very good wife.

PAUL: Annabelle, you’re—

ANNABELLE: No. I’m completely serious.

PAUL: But we’ve only just met a few minutes ago!

ANNABELLE: What of it? Why be conventional? I want to quit the show. I want to get married. If I don’t I’ll—!

PAUL: You’ll what?

ANNABELLE [averting her face]: I’ll probably kill myself.

PAUL: No. [Goes to the window.] Annabelle, it’s—

ANNABELLE: Incredible. Yes. But I thought you newspapermen were used to incredible things. They happen all the time. You probably write half a dozen stories a day about things you would have sworn couldn’t happen!

PAUL: Yes, but—

ANNABELLE: Paul. [She kisses him.] Isn’t that what you want from a woman?

PAUL: Yes, but—

ANNABELLE: Please believe me. I need you terribly, Paul.

[They embrace. Richard enters with cocktail shaker and glasses.]

RICHARD: Oh. I see you’ve gotten pretty well acquainted.

ANNABELLE: Richard—

RICHARD: Yes?

ANNABELLE: Paul and I are going to be married!

RICHARD: What? [Looks at Paul.]

PAUL [dazed]: Yes. It’s one of the incredible things that only happens in newspaper stories.

RICHARD: Well—well! Annabelle, I left the sandwiches in the kitchen.

ANNABELLE: Oh, no, I’m not that stupid. If you have any objections you can make them in my presence!

RICHARD: Objections? Hell, no! It’s swell, it’s marvelous, it’s— [He looks at Paul.] Colossal! You get the sandwiches, Paul!

ANNABELLE: We’ll get them together.

RICHARD: Great. I guess this calls for a bit of a celebration!

[Paul and Annabelle go out the rear door. Richard goes quickly to the phone.]

Ernest? This is Richard. Come on upstairs right away. [Curtains begin to close.] Paul and I have a woman up here and she’s gone serious on us! Hurry!!

CURTAIN

EVERY TWENTY MINUTES

A SATIRE

Every Twenty Minutes was first performed on March 23, 2011 at the Southern Rep Theatre, New Orleans, as part of the Tennessee Williams/New Orleans Literary Festival’s centennial tribute to Williams. It was directed by Aimée Hayes; the set design was by Ashley Sehorn; the costume design was by Laura Sirkin-Brown; the sound design was by Mike Harkins; the props were designed by Sarah Zoghbi; and the lighting design was by Joan Long. The cast, in order of appearance, was as follows:

Scene: the corner of a fashionable city apartment with a radio, chair, sofa, and cellaret with floor lamp. A man and a woman of about forty have just returned from a late party. The man is glancing through the paper and drinking a hi-ball. The woman is smoking.

WOMAN: They say that every twenty minutes somebody in America kills himself.