BLOAT. Roudi saw Barron at Fort Knox, restin' thar on
his way back from the Prophet's Town, end he sez thet
red assassin Tecumseh's a-cumin' down wi' four hundred
o' his painted devils to convarse wi' our Guvner.
They're all armed, he sez, end will be here afore mid-
day.

SLAUGH. Wall! our Guvner notified him to come - he's
only gettin' what he axed for. There'll be a deal o'
loose har flitterin' about the streets afore night, I
reckon. Harrison's a heap too soft wi' them red
roosters; he h'aint got cheek enough.

GERKIN. I've heerd say the Guvner, end the Chief
Justice tew, thinks a sight o' this tearin' red devil.
They say he's a great man. They say, tew, thet our
treaty Injuns air badly used - thet they shouldn't be
meddled wi' on their resarves, end should hev skoolin'.

BLOAT. Skoolin'! That gits me! Dogoned ef I wouldn't
larn them jest one thing - what them regler officers up
to the Fort larns their dogs - "to drap to shot," only
in a different kind o' way like; end, es fer their
resarves, I say, give our farmers a chance - let them
locate!

TWANG. Thet's so, Major! What arthly use air they -
plouterin' about their little bits o' fields, wi' their
little bits o' cabins, end livin' half the time on mush-
rats? I say, let them move out, end give reliable
citizens a chance.

SLAUGH. Wall, I reckon our Guvner's kind's about played
out. They call themselves the old stock - the clean pea
- the rale gentlemen o' the Revolooshun. But, gentlemen,
ain't we the Revolooshun? Jest wait till the live
citizens o' these United States end Territories gits a
chance, end we'll show them gentry what a free people,
wi' our institooshuns, kin do. There'll be no
more talk o' skoolin fer Injuns, you bet! I'd give them
Kernel Crunch's billet.

GERKIN. What was thet, General?

SLAUGH. Why, they say he killed a hull family o'
redskins, and stuck 'em up as scar' crows in his wheat
fields. Gentlemen, there's nothin' like original idees!

TWANG. Thet war an original idee! The Kernel orter hev
tuk out a patent. I think I've heerd o' Crunch. Wam't
he wi' Kernel Crawford, o' the melish', at one time?

SLAUGH Whar?

TWANG. Why over to the Muskingum. You've heerd o' them
Delaware Moravians over to the Muskingum, surely?

SLAUGH. Oh, them convarted chaps! but I a'most forgit
the carcumstance.

TWANG. Wall, them red devils had a nice resarve thar -
as yieldin' a bit o' sile as one could strike this side
o' the Alleghanies. They was all convarted by the
Moravians, end pertended to be as quiet and peaceable
as the Shakers hereabout But Kernel Crawford - who knew
good sile when he sot his eyes on it - diskivered thet
them prayin' chaps had helped a war-party from the
North, wi' provisions - or thort they did, which was the
same thing. So - one fine Sunday - he surrounds their
church wi' his melish' - when the Injuns was all a-
prayin' - end walks in himself, jest for a minute or
two, end prays a bit so as not to skeer them tew soon,
end then walks out, end locks the door. The Kernel then
cutely - my heart kind o' warms to thet man - put a squad
o' melish' at each winder wi' their bayonets pinted,
end sot fire to the Church, end charred up the hull
kit, preacher and all! The heft o' them was burnt; but
some thet warn't thar skinned out o' the kentry, end
got lands from the British up to the Thames River in
Canady, end founded what they call the Moravian Towns
thar; and thar they is still - fur them Britishers kind
o' pampers the Injuns, so they may git at our scalps.