“Why not? I’ve been on the edge of death a couple times. I’ve had a taste of the darkness. My connection to this world is as thin as a blade of grass.”

“Even though it’s true, you don’t believe it deep down. You have too many reasons to live.”

True. Avry topped his list. “And you don’t?”

Flea shrugged. He used the heel of his boot to smooth the dirt, erasing his doodles.

“I can name a few.”

“Yeah, well... Everything’s different now,” Flea said.

“Because of the magic?”

“Yeah. It ruined everything.” Flea pounded his fist on the ground. Puffs of dirt floated up on either side.

Kerrick considered his words with care. “Yeah, it’s a real bummer that Quain’s still around to annoy us, and—”

“Don’t lecture me, Kerrick! Bad enough Avry stares at me with...pity and disappointment.” Flea scooped up a handful of dirt and flung it into the fire.

“She doesn’t—”

“Come on. We both know she does. She is all about sacrificing herself for others. My behavior’s been... Well, not even to the lowest of her standards. Sure, I rescued Quain and Estrid, but now I can’t... Death is all around me. I can’t turn it off.”

Flea’s confession alarmed him, but he kept his face neutral. “Are you saying that when you look at me you see my death?”

“No, but if I touch you then I might.”

Might. Interesting word choice. “How about when you evaluate Avry’s patients?”

“Yeah, I see it. I didn’t tell her, ’cause I was hoping I’d learn how to control it. To keep from going that...deep. But each time, it comes quicker. And now it’s a flash. I get everything from current situation until death in one rush.”

That explained his refusal to use his magic. “Then why did you say you might see my death?”

“I can’t see Avry’s, so I’m guessing her magic blocks mine.”

And Kerrick wasn’t about to suggest he try with him. Kerrick had no desire to frighten Flea or to learn about his ultimate end. Instead, he said, “I don’t remember Sepp ever saying he could foresee a healthy person’s death. But Sepp managed to fool me over his loyalty, so he could have been keeping other secrets as well.”

“You think Sepp wants an apprentice?” Flea asked darkly.

“I don’t think he’d be a good mentor. Avry might be able—”

“No.”

Kerrick studied Flea. Something had happened between them. He remembered Avry saying Flea had been avoiding her since she’d reanimated Yuri. Which might explain why he hadn’t told her about the flash.

“Avry didn’t intend for Yuri—”