He made it undetected but found that the glossy white door with a frosted pane and gold lettering that spelled out DEPARTMENT OF AFFORDABLE HOUSING was shut. Taped to the front was a sign written in familiar chicken scratch: BACK SOON!

All right, all right, all right. Alfonzo would go get a coffee, real casual. He would likely find Mitchell at his favorite haunt, The Early Cenozoic.

“You looking for that deadbeat, too?”

Alfonzo leapt up in fright, almost kicking Lenny Old Spots on his way down.

“A little high-strung, hey, fella?”

“Sorry, Lenny. I just, well, you never know who’s going to lunge out and grab your neck in their jaws. Predators lurking around every corner. If you know what I mean. I mean, sorry, that’s insensitive.”

“I get it. Some herbivores are all nerves. I’ve personally never let those reflexes get out of control, but I do know how it is. I have a sister who can’t look at an itty-bitty fox without having a heart attack, and she’s two hundred pounds.”

The pig snuffled. The alpaca twitched. They faced each other, swaying slightly. Alfonzo bent his head in a sign of submission. He hoped that would get the pig to leave. Old Spots stayed put.

“Say. Sorry about this—it’s my memory going—but I might have written your name wrong on a memo I sent?”

Alfonzo cycled through the possibilities. Old Spots was fucking with him, playing some seven-dimensional porcine chess. Or the pig sincerely didn’t know Alfonzo’s name. But Old Spots knew he was the one in the basement. He didn’t want to get wrapped up in too much conversation, in case the pig tried to use Alfonzo’s words against him.

“I…” Alfonzo snuffled. “I mean, you can call me Al.”

“Well, Al, I don’t envy you down there with all those tubes and soggy paper. Shitty job.”

“Ah, yes, well, someone’s got to do it.”

“Donkey’s work.”

“Hum?”

“It goes on and on forever. You haven’t heard that?”

“No, sir.”

“You don’t know the saying ‘Donkeys live a long time’?”

“Longer than other folks?”

“Have you ever seen a dead donkey?”

“Ah. Hum. Good one, sir.”

The pig harrumphed. “Not really a joke, son. I’ve known some donkeys. Lemme tell you, the saying comes from somewhere. They’re like lobsters, they don’t die. Anyhow, I wouldn’t waste much time on your friend. That camel spends more time out of the office than in. I need to check on some papers, but he’s never where I want him. Actually, since you’re a document fellow, maybe you could help.”

“Camelids.” Alfonzo felt feverish.

“What?”

“Not to be oversensitive, but we’re not—”

“Oh, right. Not a camel. So sensitive. I’m sorry you were offended.”

“No prob-llama.” Alfonzo hoped a pun would drive the pig away, but Old Spots just smirked.