“I’ve missed this, too.” I’m speaking in a breathy kind of voice that I’ve only ever written about.

One of his hands moves to graze the curve of my waist while the other brushes up along my throat. His thumb rests just under my jaw to tilt my face upwards.

“We should stop,” he says, even though he keeps on touching me.

“Then stop,” I whisper.

He swallows but doesn’t move. His hand grips my waist tighter.

I go up on the tips of my toes and brush my lips against his. He pulls back an inch with a shallow breath and I drink it in. It’s not enough. I’m impatient and agitated, a match scratching against a rough surface, trying to spark. I kiss him again, increasing the pressure. Ryan lets out something between a sigh and growl as he drags me forward, squeezing our bodies impossibly closer. I gasp and his tongue sweeps into my mouth. My stomach flips in all the right ways. I can’t believe we used to do this all the time.

A minute passes but the sensations only get stronger. I want to melt into him. I feel like I might. His right hand moves from my neck to my breast as he kisses me with a hunger I’m just starting to remember. I’m as starved as him. I arch my back into his touch, feeling myself inching closer to a familiar precipice despite being fully clothed. We’re both panting when I lean back a minute later, my eyes searching his.

And just like that, it’s over.

Ryan steps back, suddenly holding me at arm’s length, and the absence of his body heat makes the room unbearably cold. I almost shudder from the lack of it.

“I’m sorry,” he quickly says. He’s breathing like he just ran a mile while trying to pretend that he didn’t. “I’m sorry, I...” He doesn’t finish his sentence. His hands slowly fall away from me and a dazed expression remains on my face as I wait for him to offer some kind of reassurance. Anything. Nothing comes.

I step back as best I can on my wobbly legs. “I didn’t mean to do that,” I find myself saying. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“No, that was my fault. I got carried away.”

I nod my head and Ryan looks around the room, looks everywhere except at me. I get a sinking feeling in my gut but I hide it well.

When he finally looks at me, he’s resigned and almost disappointed. “I guess we should get some sleep.”

What in the actual hell is happening?

“Yeah. Okay, good night.”

I begin to turn around when I hear, “Sullivan, wait a second.”

I pause, again hoping for some sense clarity. “What?” I ask.