“I know I said a lot in the letter I wrote with the journal. But I also know that after what I did, they were just words. What I want now, what I’m begging you to give me, is a chance to prove that I mean them.” He takes the smallest step closer but I swear it shakes the floor.

“I really want to believe you.”

“Then believe me,” he says, almost whispering. “Forgive me.”

I grip the doorknob tighter. My heart is pounding.

“I am so incredibly sorry, Kara. Sorrier than I could ever tell you. I messed up at such an intense level and I made it impossible for you to trust me. I see that now. So if you hate me—if you want nothing to do with me, I want you to know that I’ll understand and I’ll accept it. I hate myself for what I did. I know I hurt you but all I want from now on is to make you happy...for you to be happy with me.”

It feels like the air has turned solid in my lungs with only the slightest gasps slipping through. My fingers fall away from the door one by one.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. We can just be friends. I’ll move to New York on my own with Duke, and you and I can get to know each other again. I’ll stick to any pace that’s right for you because what’s between us is worth fighting for and I’ll fight to the end if that’s what you want.”

His gaze never falters. His right hand twitches a little and I somehow know he’s stopping himself from reaching out to me.

“Is that what you want?” he asks. His eyes are honest and true. Duke shuffles around by our feet but neither of us looks anywhere else but at each other.

For a second, I see the college version of Ryan. A hoodie and jeans. A backpack and cap. He’s standing across from the bookworm he thinks is so special, and even though we’re not those people anymore, we can always remember that they led us here. We don’t have to live up to their legacy. We can choose to build our own.

“Yes,” I answer, my voice soft but entirely steady. “That’s what I want.”

An awestruck expression streaks Ryan’s face, like he’s about to laugh or maybe cry, but he settles for a hopeful smile instead. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I can’t promise how fast things are going to go. This is going to take time, but I want to fight for us, too. I know what we have is worth it. You are worth it.”