Cristina is next and she can barely contain her excitement when I call. She gives me even more details about her honeymoon in Turks and Caicos and explains how she’s taking home ovulation tests since she’s trying to get pregnant, like, yesterday. I didn’t know so many elements came into play when making a baby, but apparently you only have a twelve-to-forty-eight-hour window to make it happen, and hoisting your hips into the air like a fertility acrobat after doing the deed really helps your odds. I’ll have to ask Jen if she partook in these Cirque Du Soleil conception techniques.

Now it’s time for Maggie. I can’t wait to hear her voice and tell her everything that’s been going on. Excited energy ripples through me as I press the call button and wait for her to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Maggie. It’s me!” Silence follows and I wonder if we got disconnected. “Maggie?”

“Oh, hey,” she says. “What’s up?”

Her words would be totally normal in other circumstances but right now, they feel jarring. She doesn’t sound happy to hear from me at all.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound...like yourself.”

“Really? How do I sound?”

My heart starts to race and I have the sudden intense urge to duck back inside my emotional bomb shelter. “You seem different, I guess—are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” she asks in a clipped tone.

My hand gets clammy and I wipe it along the side of my pants. “I don’t know. Do you want to tell me?”

“Sure. I actually would have loved to have told you a while ago, but this is the first time you’re calling me in two months.”

“I haven’t called anyone,” I offer weakly. “And you and I have been emailing.”

“I realize that, but we went from speaking almost every day for years to you not calling me for months. And yeah, you emailed me, but your emails might as well have been automated responses. You sound like a bot in every single one.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Maggie. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt this way.”

“You didn’t know I felt this way because you didn’t talk to me! I have a life, too, Kara. It’s not just you. I have things going on and I have problems and sometimes I really needed to talk to my best friend. It would have been awesome if she didn’t bail on me for months at a time.”

“I’m sorry,” I say again, already knowing it’s not enough.