“Every day, I had to visit murder scenes and deal with deplorable human beings... I was tired of it. I’d see those depraved killers who think nothing of hurting children and the elderly. It made me feel more than sad. Despair is a better word...it was tough. No matter how much effort we put into our work, none of it stops the crimes from occurring. I began to wonder, why am I doing this to myself, what good is it? But I thought that if I told you this...well, I thought you would be angry. So, I kept putting off the conversation...”

There must have been only a short time left before the coffee was completely cold. It didn’t matter to him whether Kimiko believed him; he simply wanted to say what he thought he should have said.

“But, don’t worry. I never quit being a detective...” he said, taking a deep breath.

“And we never separated...” he added softly.

Kiyoshi was lying with desperate abandon. He noticed his palms were soaking wet. Kimiko had not yet responded. He just stared at the cup in front of him, unable to do anything else. But he had said what he needed. He was too afraid to look at Kimiko’s face in fear of what it might show, but he had no regrets.

“...My time is up, I must go now,” he said. But as he reached for his cup, she spoke.

“I knew it... Kiyoshi, is that really you?”

He could tell from the tone of her voice that she was still in disbelief. But hearing her say his name reminded him of how she had called him that since they were in high school. Hearing it brought a warm glow to his eyes. Yet she had said she’d known, which confused him. He didn’t think she knew that this café allowed you to return to the past.

“How did you know?”

“Your hunting cap.”

“Oh.”

The tattered hunting cap he was wearing was a present from Kimiko. She had it custom-made for him when he first became a detective.

She looked at it.

“I see you’ve worn it a lot,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah.”

More than thirty years had passed since he received it as a present. Now, he couldn’t imagine not wearing it.

“Your work must have been tough.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you quit...?” she asked, her voice trailing off.

The real reason was because he couldn’t free himself from the guilt of believing that he was to blame for Kimiko getting caught up in the mugging, by not turning up to meet her. Going on being a detective was his way of punishing himself forever. In reply to the question, Kiyoshi looked straight into her eyes.

“You were there for me,” he replied.

“I was?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really?”