And then I hadn’t even been brave enough to tell Kat what really happened—that we’d broken up because I was scared. Because, like always, I didn’t tell people how I actually felt. Because I’d rather walk on bleeding feet than tell someone I was in pain. Because I was willing to let someone I loved slip away because I wasn’t brave enough to tell them I loved them, too.

“Why are you trying to order the most expensive thing on the menu?” Beckett asked, bringing me back to the present. He was smiling, but I could hear the real confusion behind this question.

“Well,” I said, taking a deep breath, anger starting to bubble up again. It wasn’t that it was an unfamiliar feeling. What was unfamiliar was that I wasn’t pushing it down, pretending it wasn’t happening. “I found out my dad cancelled on me tonight so that he could have dinner with Joy.” Hurt shot through me again just speaking these words. “And he lied to me about it. So I said, screw it. Revenge via credit card charges.” I tried to sound defiant and rebellious, but I could hear that this sounded petty—and small. But I wasn’t about to back down now.

“I mean, normally ordering a ton of food we don’t have to pay for would be great,” Beckett said with a quick smile, there for just a moment but then disappearing again. “But I’m not sure…”

“Well, it’s what I’m doing,” I said, sitting up straight, hearing the defensive note creep into my voice. I looked around for a menu, to see what the most expensive item they sold here was, but we didn’t have any. “You can leave if you want, but that’s what I’m doing.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Beckett said, his voice quieter, leaning toward me. “I was just going to say—remember how I told you I ran away when my parents were starting to tech From the Blue?” he asked, referring to their play about Edison and Tesla.

“What about it?”

“All I was trying to do was get their attention. But there are better ways to do it.”

“I’m not trying to get his attention! I just…”

Beckett raised an eyebrow. “Really?” I raised one right back at him, folding my arms across my chest. “Are you still applying to Northwestern? Still want to do prelaw?”

I stared at him. “What… does that have to do with anything?”

He gave me a look that let me know that he’d once known everything about me, and what’s more, hadn’t forgotten it all in the last few months. “Stevie.”