“It hasn’t been that bad,” I said, almost meaning it.

He smiled at me, checked the time on his phone. “I’d go with you to Mallory’s, but…”

“You have to go back to the USSR.” Matty laughed. “I get it. Say hi to Alyssa and Archie. Thanks for coming all the way over here with me, and for—everything tonight.”

“You want to come?”

“It sounds fun, but I think I’m just going to go get my stuff.”

“Understandable.”

We looked at each other for a moment, like before in his dorm—but this time without the awkward pressure of expectations. Before, there was someone I hadn’t known. And now? It was Matty. Somehow, unexpectedly, and against all odds—my brother.

I reached out and gave him a hug, and he gave me one back, picking me up off my feet for a second before putting me down again. “Bye,” I said. “Thanks again for everything.”

“This isn’t goodbye,” Matty said, shaking his head like the notion was ridiculous. “You’re coming to Margaux’s later, right? Hang on—let me get you the address.” He pulled a receipt out of his wallet, borrowed a pencil from the guard, and scribbled down Margaux’s address for me. I took the folded paper and stuck it in my coat pocket. “I’ll see you there?”

I just smiled. “Bye, Matty. I’ll see you soon.”

He grinned back, then pushed open the door, wincing slightly against the cold, putting his head down against it as he fell into step with the thinned-out Midtown crowd.

A second later, I stepped outside myself and looked around. I was twenty blocks away from Mallory’s apartment. I could walk there, even though it really was getting colder. There were cabs with lights on flying by, and I realized all of a sudden that I could take one. I had my nineteen dollars in cash, but I no longer had to hoard it, because the rest of my money and my emergency credit card—along with our train tickets and my keys—were at Mallory’s, and now I could get back in there. And even if nineteen dollars wasn’t enough to get me twenty blocks, it would be enough to get me close.

And that was what I should do.

It made sense. It was what I’d been trying to do all night, after all. Get back to Mallory’s. Get my things. No longer be broke and stranded in New York.

And yet…