“Got my old job back. Deskwork because they thought I was a menace to society. I’d crossed a line, Kate. Big fuckin’ line. Once you do that, you can’t go back. The brass wanted me gone. They made life tough. Eventually, they got their wish.”

“How did you end up at BCI?”

“Technically, I had a clean record. I think the commander was so glad to wash his hands of me, he pulled some strings, got me hired. What the hell else are you going to do with a psycho, corrupt, highly decorated police detective?”

“Ship him off to a place where he can’t cause any problems.”

“Exactly.” He looked away, grimaced. “But we both know problems have a way of following you around. I’m pretty much washed up at BCI. That stigma thing. Too much baggage . . .” He lifts a shoulder, lets it drop. “Not to mention the booze and drugs.”

“John.” She said his name with sympathy. “How bad?”

“Shrinks handed out prescriptions like candy, trying to figure out how to fix me. I was more than happy to oblige.”

He hated the disappointment he saw in her eyes. But Kate wasn’t the first person he’d disappointed in the last year. He’d disappointed just about everyone he knew, including himself.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

“Let’s just say I’m a work in progress.” John rose. Her eyes widened when he stepped close. Wrapping his fingers around her biceps, he eased her to her feet and looked down at her.

“Being with you,” he said. “Like this. Working with you. It helped, Kate. It made me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. I want you to know that.”

“I do,” she said. “I know.”

CHAPTER 31

The blast of the phone wrenches me from a fitful slumber. Rolling, I reach for it before I’m fully awake. “Yeah.”

“Is this Chief Kate Burkholder?”

For a fraction of a second, I’m still the chief of police, and someone is calling with a break in the case. But it’s only the remnants of sleep tickling my fancy. In the next instant I remember I was fired. I remember Jonas Hershberger was arrested. I remember sleeping with John Tomasetti.

I sit up. “Yes, I’m Kate Burkholder.”

“This is Teresa Cardona. I’m a crime analyst with BCI. John Tomasetti asked me to forward the VICAP summary report to you.”

I sense John’s absence. The house has that empty feel I’m so accustomed to. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I reach for my robe. “Yes, I’m anxious to see it.”

“I don’t have your e-mail address.”

I rattle off the address. “How quickly can you send it?”

“How about right now?”

“That would be great. Thanks.” I hang up feeling both excited and deflated. The good news is I’ll finally have the crime-matching information I need. I don’t want to examine too closely the cause of the latter. It would be easier, simpler, to believe the pang in my chest is from the loss of my job and the probable end of my law enforcement career. But I’m honest enough with myself to admit it has more to do with John’s departure without so much as a good-bye. I resolve not to dwell. I’ve got enough on my plate this morning without adding a heap of morning-after jitters.