‘I love her,’ Agloval said firmly. ‘I want her for my wife. But for that she must have legs and not a scaly tail. And it’s feasible, since I bought a magical elixir with a full guarantee, for two pounds of exquisite pearls. After drinking it she’ll grow legs. She’ll just suffer a little, for three days, no more. Call her, Witcher, tell her again.’

‘I’ve already told her twice. She said absolutely no, she doesn’t consent. But she added that she knows a witch, a sea witch, who is prepared to cast a spell to turn your legs into a handsome tail. Painlessly.’

‘She must be insane! She thinks I would have a fishy tail? Not a chance! Call her, Geralt!’

The Witcher leaned far out over the side. The water in the boat’s shadow was green and seemed as thick as jelly. He did not have to call. The mermaid suddenly shot out above the surface in a fountain of water. For a moment she literally stood on her tail, then dived down into the waves and turned on her back, revealing her attributes in all their glory. Geralt swallowed.

‘Hey!’ she sang. ‘Will this take much longer? My skin’s getting chapped from the sun! White Hair, ask him if he consents.’

‘He does not,’ the Witcher sang back. ‘Sh’eenaz, understand, he cannot have a tail, cannot live beneath the water. You can breathe air, but he cannot breathe underwater!’

‘I knew it!’ the mermaid screamed shrilly. ‘I knew it! Excuses, foolish, naive excuses, not a bit of sacrifice! Whoever loves makes sacrifices! I made sacrifices for him, every day I hauled myself out onto the rocks for him, I wore out the scales on my bottom, frayed my fins; I caught colds for him! And he will not sacrifice those two hideous pegs for me? Love doesn’t just mean taking, one also has to be able to give up things, to make sacrifices! Tell him that!’

‘Sh’eenaz!’ Geralt called. ‘Don’t you understand? He cannot survive in the water!’

‘I don’t accept stupid excuses! I… I like him too and want to have his fry, but how can I, if he doesn’t want to be a spawner? Where should I deposit my eggs, hey? In his cap?’

‘What is she saying?’ the duke yelled. ‘Geralt! I didn’t bring you here to chat with her—’

‘She’s digging her heels in. She’s angry.’

‘Cast those nets!’ Agloval roared. ‘I’ll keep her in a pool for a month and then she’ll—’

‘Shove it!’ the skipper yelled back, demonstrating what he was to shove with his middle finger. ‘There might be a kraken beneath us! Ever seen a kraken, My Lord? Hop into the water, if that is your will, and catch her with your hands! I’m not getting involved. I make my living by fishing from this cog!’

‘You make your living by my goodwill, you scoundrel! Cast your net or I’ll order you strung up!’

‘Kiss a dog’s arse! I’m in charge on this cog!’