The world did not tumble. Her face remained calm. The white winter light still streamed into the room as if into a church, illuminating the floor and us, my heart pumped blood around my body—accelerated but still—and a shiver ran through me, through my entire being, and I felt as if something dead and heavy inside had been expelled, as if I’d been carrying a leaden ghost within me all that time. I felt dizzy. I tried to say something else, but there was nothing to say. She took me into her arms, and I allowed her to—into her soft arms, against her pullover, cushioned by the soft breasts beneath it.

“It’s OK,” she whispered. “I understand.” She stroked my hair. “You’re good. Don’t you worry. You’ll be fine. You’re good.”

Even if I had wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the tears. They poured out all by themselves, a force of their own, agents of relief and consolation, flooding my face, emptying my mind. And we sat like this, enveloped in each other, in the bright light, for an immeasurable amount of time. When I straightened myself, she left, returning moments later with a tissue.

I wiped my face and thanked her.

She stood still, looking down at me.

“You love him, don’t you?”

She said it softly, neutral, almost as if it wasn’t a question. I closed my eyes to say yes and looked at her, saw that she’d understood. Then a shadow flickered across her face, a trace of doubt. The moment I’d been sure would come. She remained still and looked at me intently, scanning me for reassurance, begging me for it with her eyes.

“You and Janusz—” she began, but I interrupted her.

“He doesn’t know,” I said, slipping the wet ball of tissue into my pocket, trying not to tremble, to keep my voice steady. “Don’t say anything to him.”

She nodded, her fear dissolved. “Of course not,” she said, trying to cover her relief. “I won’t.”

She offered me brandy again, asked me whether I wanted something to eat. I shook my head and thanked her. It was time to go.

She accompanied me to the door, hugged me. “I’ll call my father now,” she said, and assured me they’d do what they could.

“Thank you,” I said again.

She hugged me, this time for longer.

“Come back soon.” Again, she sounded as if she meant it.

“I will,” I said, almost believing it myself.

*  *  *