I went home and ate five flapjacks.

A spatter of sound that might have been distant gunshots. I swore and sat bolt upright.

‘It’s just me, darling.’ Lottie sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on my forehead. Her voice was soft as a box of baby chicks.

I slowly rolled away from her and pulled the duvet up, lying very still. ‘What time is it?’

‘It’s ten.’

Still light. ‘At night?’

‘Yes, Polly.’ A little huff of breath, slightly exasperated.

‘OK. Thanks.’

‘Fraser’s here.’ My skull prickled. ‘He’s been in the wars a bit.’ She sounded intrigued.

‘Tell him to go away.’

‘Really? Oh, I thought—’

‘No. I will.’ My knees landed first. I dragged my hoodie across the floor to the door.

He was standing in the hallway, looking at a framed map of the outer islands. When he saw me, he attempted a sort of half smile, half hello. The underside of his left eye had swelled and turned mauve. I pushed him out onto the driveway, shutting the door behind me.

‘You didn’t reply to my messages,’ he said. ‘I was really worried.’

I looked past him up to the gate. ‘Yeah, thanks.’

‘Did you get back OK, then? I – did you walk or something?’

‘Yeah. I walked.’

He was nodding, unsure, not really taking it in. I could have told him I’d flown home, risen up and bloody floated here, and he would have done the same nod. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘Wow. I’m glad you got home all right.’ He tried another smile.

I wasn’t having it. ‘You didn’t come here first thing though, did you? To check that I was OK?’ I had to have a weirdo hermit rescue me.

He looked at me sidelong, guiltily, but also as if part of my brain was missing. ‘I had to drive to Glasgow. You know.’

I turned away from him and looked at the light crumbling among the trees. ‘Yeah, of course, because that was more important.’

‘Polly, you heard what he said.’

I spun back round. ‘I can’t believe you were even in that shit. How did you not pay your dealer? Isn’t that, like, in the beginner’s manual or something?’

‘I was just using it to – I was behind on my room rent.’

‘How did you pay him? Where did you get the money from if you didn’t have it before?’

‘My brother helped me out. Transferred some.’ He sighed. ‘So now I owe him.’

‘Not your mum, then?’

‘No.’

I saw her as she stormed towards me at the swings. Her lower jaw jutting out. ‘No, ’cause I bet she doesn’t know about this, does she?’

He spoke very quietly. ‘No, of course not.’

‘Maybe someone should tell her.’ Her golden boy, backhanding the West Highlands with all their supplementary needs.

He put a hand out towards my arm. ‘Come on.’ There was the faintest note of panic in his voice, though he tried to hide it.