I felt worn out, thinking of all the people whose lives were suddenly intertwined with mine: Audrey, Brandon, Sally, Danielle. What did any of them have to do with me, really? I ought to try to get my job back. Or some job, anyway, maybe a different one. I vowed to do it tomorrow. Either call my boss or go fill out some applications. I got a beer from the fridge and watched some crappy TV, relieved to be by myself and not think.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I slept late the next day and woke up to my ringing phone. I answered when I saw Audrey’s name on the caller ID.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Sleeping.”

“Come with me to Brandon’s. I’m worried about him.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“He’s not answering his phone. He does that when he gets too depressed. Let’s go cheer him up.”

“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t feel too great about seeing Brandon. I kind of wanted a break from Audrey, too.

“Oh, come on. I’m right by your house, anyways.”

“I was gonna go do some stuff. Look for a job.”

“Well, I’m coming over. I’ll be there in a few.” She hung up.

It was after noon. I showered and drank coffee, made a peanut butter sandwich. I was eating it when she got there.

“Hey,” she said at the top of the steps. “Let’s smoke real quick.”

She loaded a wooden pipe and lit it, handed it to me.

“I can’t go,” I said, taking the pipe.

“Oh, come on. You’re not seriously going to look for a job right now, are you?”

“Sure,” I said. “Maybe I shouldn’t be smoking.”

“Come on, I don’t want to hang out with Brandon by myself, it’s too depressing. All he does is cry and talk about Danielle. If you’re there maybe he’ll make more of an effort.”

“The cops think he killed her,” I said.

“Well, he didn’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m fucking sure.”

“But what if they’re right?”

“Look, I know him. Do you think he did it? Can you picture it?”

“No. Not really.”

“So what’s your deal? Why are you being all sketchy? Just come with me.”

I took another hit from the pipe and held it. I decided to tell her.

“I had sex with him,” I said. “It was before you and me, you know . . . it only happened once. We did some ketamine and smoked and it just happened.”

“He’s such a slut,” she said.

“You’re not upset?”

“Whatever, I can tell you like me.”

I smiled.

“I did K once,” she said. “With him and Dani. I mean, Dani didn’t do it, she only smoked weed. It freaked the fuck out of me. I couldn’t move and the walls turned into trees with hands, and they couldn’t move either. And we couldn’t find each other. It was the worst.”

“Trees with hands?”

“They went to grab me. We were paralyzed and couldn’t get away. And they kept changing colors. I would not touch that shit again.”