Cover

Chapter 1

Kelly Porter adjusted her seatbelt. It felt tight. Too tight. But she knew that this was just her imagination. It wasn’t that she’d put on weight; though Christmas was just around the corner, she hadn’t over-indulged just yet. It wasn’t that the belt, or her seat, had changed position in the night. And it wasn’t that she was wearing the wrong coat. It was none of those things.

She just felt off.

At forty, and a new mother, she could’ve blamed hormones, baby weight, and any manner of minor irritations, but she didn’t. She knew full well what was going on, and she pulled the driver’s mirror down, for the twentieth time, to check her make-up. Millie, her nanny, had arrived early this morning, to take care of Lizzie. Today was a big day, and Millie knew it, but they didn’t discuss it. At just over four months old, Lizzie was blissfully unaware of what lay ahead for her mother today, though it was tempting to use her as a sounding board, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn’t understand a word. But one day she would, and Kelly knew that kids repeat what they hear at home. She’d been a copper for enough years to know that. It’s how they caught many parents who happened to be criminals; or were they criminals who happened to be parents?

She kept her chat with her daughter to gurgles and playful squeals. In itself, this drove her to the worrying realisation, at times, that she thought she was going mad. The absence of adult conversation at home, except with Millie when she arrived for her shift, and when she handed over at night, or her stepdaughter, Josie, studying for her A levels, bothered her. It was different at work of course. As the gaffer of the serious crime unit for the northern Lakes in Cumbria, she enjoyed plenty of chat in the office, but it wasn’t really the kind of exchange she craved. It was all statistics, case files, and people doing horrible shit to each other. What she really needed this morning was someone to tell her everything would be okay when she faced Johnny in court. Her ex-boyfriend, and Lizzie’s dad.