“I hate that lizard Googie but it’d be dangerous going with nothin’. This is O.K. It’s what they give you in the hospital,” Raymond said.

“Fuck hospitals,” said Raf.

“How ’bout vitamins? Are you eating?” Raymond asked.

“Some,” Raf said. He lowered into a chair and peeled off a blood-streaked running sock. “Fruit juices. I’m working myself up for solid foods.”

“Listen, you two,” Raf said, hitching into a baggy pair of cargo jeans I’d brought along. He’d just finished showering.

Raymond took off his dark glasses as if to hear better. He crossed his arms, leaned a shoulder against the wall.

“I know what’s going on between you. I could get it from looking at Paige when you’re around, Raymond. And I also know how bad I messed up with Luisa. I’m sorry. But listen to me now. I’m going on a long stroll. You’d both be doing me a favor if you’d just get the fuck on with it.”

“Wait, wait, Raf, please. Not one of your long strolls,” I said.

“I’ll be back,” he said. “Before morning.”

“You think you mean this,” said Raymond. “You’re coming out of a fog. There’s self-recrimination . . .”

“Raymond, just do it or don’t. Look, you know how I am, and it’s gotta be the same for Paige. You can’t tell me you don’t want this, either of you, so have it,” Raf said. And in seconds he yanked the door open on the fiery day and fled.

“Hope he meant that,” Raymond said, unbuttoning his workshirt.

“Well, thank you, but . . .” I said.

“Sure sounded like he did,” Raymond said. He kicked out of his boots. “Want me to undress you, peach?”

“Raymond, of course, I’d like to . . .” I said. “The idea’s been with me since the night we met. In fact, minus the idea, life’ll be less something—a lot less.”

He took my hand and we circled together and slow-danced.

I said, “And ordinarily I don’t have such thoughts. My whole time with Raf I haven’t, not about one other person.”

“So what’s in the way? My religion? What’s to stop you?”

“You two,” I said.

Raymond thought a moment and sighed. “Another day at the turkey facility,” he said.

“Pardon?”

“Don’t know, but it sums up how I feel.”

Fists knotted, Raf paced a path in the motel carpeting— back and forth, back and forth. He ran. He whapped out laps in the pool. A couple or even three times a day he’d get me into bed for a full workout; or he climbed into the shower with me. Once he tackled me on an isolated little patch of lawn down around the vending machines.

We were on twenty-four-hour time: banking at a cash machine at 3 a.m.; buying fruit and groceries at sunup in Jacinto’s.