It took a while. They walked in silence, under the June sun cooled by sea air, well-kept paths and lawn under their feet. It ought to have been more of a pleasure than it was. The grounds turned from manicured to artificially natural to something that looked like it might have grown by itself, and finally Kim led the way along a path till they found themselves surrounded by, unexpectedly, pine. Will doubted that was native to East Anglia either, but it was clearly an established plantation, and the forest floor was thick with ferns, standing a good four or five feet high.

So he grabbed Kim’s hand and dragged him into the undergrowth.

“The path is back there,” Kim pointed out

“Sod the path.” Will shoved his way forward. Ferns were pretty scratchy when you got up close, it turned out. “I need you to be with me. Not in that house, or the grounds. With me.” There was a patch of sunlight ahead of them, filtering through the trees. He stamped a stand of bracken flat, tossed his coat on top of it, and lay down. “Come here. Put your coat down.”

Kim didn’t even complain that it would get dirty. He took it off with precise, unenthusiastic movements, put it on the bracken, and sat down next to Will. Will tugged him backwards, got his arm under Kim’s shoulders, then shifted around so that they finally ended up with Kim’s head on his chest. Just lying there in silence. Just them.

He didn’t know how long they stayed there, sun on their faces, breeze rippling over skin. It didn’t matter: he had nowhere else to be. He’d stay here forever, if that was what Kim needed, until the horrible barrier that had stood between them in that horrible house ebbed away in the clean air.

He watched the sway of the trees, the clouds scudding across the pale blue sky. He listened to Kim breathing, mostly quietly, with the occasional quick, sharp inhalation as something nasty passed through his mind. He felt the painfully slow relaxation of his lover’s tense shoulders, and then, after a very long time, Kim put up a hand, and Will held it.

A few more minutes passed, and finally Kim spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“But I am. Sorry and also intolerable, I realise that. I thought I wouldn’t care. It’s been years. I don’t care, damn it, and yet—”

“Coming here knocked the scabs off?”

Kim’s shoulders heaved. “I had an idea that if you were with me it wouldn’t matter. Instead it’s so much worse because I’m seeing it all through your eyes. Christ knows what you must think.”

“I think your family are arseholes.”

“Apart from that.”

“No, that’s pretty much it. Absolute arseholes.” He hesitated, but it had to be faced. “And I think I don’t belong here.”