“Because if I have sex with you, I don’t think I’m going to want to let you go afterwards, and I don’t think you’re ready for that.” He added a rueful smile to his statement, to take some of the seriousness out of it, but Ellie’s eyes still went wide and her jaw snapped shut.

Cuz, okay, maybe she wasn’t ready. Her little freakout just from having his arm around her had proven she wasn’t.

But... but she wanted to be ready. At least, she wanted to try. She’d never wanted to try before, but Michael made her want to try.

The way he was with her made her want to try. Not just when they were in a scene, but outside of the scenes too. She’d pushed him away for a really long time, maybe it was time for her to put herself out there a little. Push past her comfort zone a little more. Even more than just scheduling a new scene with each other every time they saw each other.

“Maybe we could have a club relationship,” she heard herself saying. And then she froze, her heart pounding, not sure if she wanted him to take her up on it or not.

His expression was thoughtful, but otherwise blank as he studied her expression. Probably seeing all sorts of things she didn’t want him to. Reading all sorts of things into her reaction she’d rather remain hidden. Summoning up some bravado, Ellie forced herself to relax, pretending she was totally at ease with what she’d just suggested.

Pretending she was totally fine with the idea of something she’d avoided ever since joining Stronghold.

She could do this.

A club relationship wasn’t a real relationship, after all. It was strictly confined to the club. There would be set boundaries, an agreed upon contract, and all it really meant was she was going to keep playing with him and only him, and he would keep playing with her and only her. She could handle that. Sure, the level of commitment was unheard of for her, but this was Michael.

This was a step. A small one. Really a tiny one, she told herself, concentrating on taking deep, even breaths, because there was no reason to panic.

“I don’t want you to make this decision while you’re still high off the scene,” he said eventually, his voice soft. “If you still want to sign a club contract with me in a few days, I would be happy to negotiate terms with you.”

“In a few days?”

“Yes,” he said, a slow smile spreading across his face, like a challenge - and also like he was enjoying her discomfort. Sadist, right? “You’ll give me your phone number and I’ll call you to talk about it. I’ll need it anyway if we decide to sign a contract.”