Which had made his cock surge and his sphincter tighten at the same time, and when he hadn’t been able to immediately answer in the affirmative, she’d just nodded her head, gray eyes full of understanding, but also disappointment. Olivia wasn’t going to do more with him unless he was all in… he thought he could be but… Whenever he was away from her his doubts would grow again. Nag at him. He’d wonder if he’d imagined how much he’d liked the anal play. Then cringe when he admitted to himself he definitely hadn’t imagined it, or it wouldn’t be disturbing him so much now. It was like an itch in the back of his brain and he just wanted her to play with him so that itch would go away again, the way it had before when he could just focus on her and not on the little thoughts pricking at him like tiny, doubting needles.

When Nick made a crack at him on Wednesday, asking him if Olivia had made him her bitch yet, he’d snapped back at his brother and hung up on him. Nick had called back immediately, apologizing, but it had only emphasized Luke’s own discomfort with everything. The obnoxious, tiny but intrusive voice in the back of his head that said he shouldn’t have liked everything Olivia did to him so much.

It was easy to stomp that voice down when he was in her presence.

Not so easy when he wasn’t and his brother was teasing him without knowing it had become a touchy subject.

Going online helped, but it wasn’t the same as talking to someone in person. While it was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one who was having these thoughts, it wasn’t like he knew any of the people talking. Going by some of the advice being handed out, he wasn’t even sure some of them were actually into kink or just playing at it. Definitely the guy calling himself MasterAssSucker3000 and telling people to open their minds and holes or be forever trapped in bourgeois sex lives (whatever that meant) did not inspire confidence.

After accepting his brother’s apology, he took Molly for a run to work off some energy. Fifty pounds of brown, fluffy excitement, she was more than happy to give him a serious workout and then snuggle with him on the couch while he watched bladesmiths competing to be named master of the forge or something. Unfortunately, as awesome as his dog was, she couldn’t exactly give him any advice or reassurance either—although she was a very good listener.

So on Thursday, after another class with Mistress Lisa and another round of feeling awkward and uncomfortable unless Olivia came by to watch them, Luke headed to Stronghold.